Broken Was What Made Me Free.

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Why Feeling Blue is Good for You.

Because you feel both the sorrow and pain
And cry when you’re sad and laugh when you gain,
Any sweet glance and any true deeds…
You are kindred, my friend,
And your feelings I heed.

I feel faint as well when my heart starts to swell
I mourn when my lover has harsh things to tell,
I laugh when my children run home and declare
When they had a great day, and with me want to share…

All of their hopes and their youth-sauntered dreams
All of their fears and their naive-fevered schemes,
I shiver and scramble at the smallest of smiles…
Because I know moments will not last awhile.

Because you are faint, and are ever so true
Your heart can be broken, and your languages blue,
This means you’re alive, this proves the sun’s shine…
Has not left you lonely, has not left you behind.

That play in your mind, that old saunter and dance
I have been there my friend, I have felt my last chance,
I’ve wept rivers of tears in some forests unknown…
I once swore to heaven, I’d be always alone.

I have stared at the cards in cold crowded stores
Thought never for me, would I ever be more,
Than a lone soldiered-girl, all alone in my space…
Just waiting for someone to notice my grace.

But because I left open one shimmer of hope
Because I looked up from the end of my rope,
I found love again, but this time not small…
I made love again, and allowed myself to fall

Right into the abyss of warmth and red skies
Straight into the sparrows’ long flights and steel eyes,
I became grounded and free all at once in my being…
For the first time not scared about what I was seeing.

Even though bloodied from battles before
I stood tall and walked forward, not less but much more,
I realized that broken, was what made me free…
I knew I was loved, and most loved by me.

Only through days and moments of gloom
Can we feel our life’s passions much more than assumed,
Only once reeled in from drowning in strife…
Can we understand miracles and wonders of life.

I know this too well, I have seen the dark side
I’ve been so lost in mourning, I could not swim the tides,
I have treaded the waters of life’s bitter waves…
I have prayed for my life to be peacefully paved.

So here I am now, somewhat battered and bruised
A little bit tormented, a bit torn and used,
Here I am now, so much wiser for wear…
Here I am now much more willing to care

To care enough to matter, to yell and to cry
To sing much too loudly, to gaze at the sky,
To mention the sweetness of my lover’s pause…
To look at him deeply, sometimes just because

We are all better for it, for sorrows felt well
We are all that much closer, for our deepest of hell,
We can all melt as one, in a fledging of deep…
We can all feel our heart-songs while softly we weep.

I am blue much less often, but blue just the same
I know now that suffering is honest pure game,
Because when I feel joy now and when I know truth…
My soul is more lifted, the years peeled back in youth.

So my warriors you see, we are all truly free
Once we know depth, and once we can see,
That all life is beautiful, the darkness and light…
Once you know this my friend, your peace will take flight.

 

 

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Ed: Brianna Bemel

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Francesca Biller

Francesca Biller is an award-winning investigative journalist who has written, reported, and covered news and features about politics, culture, race, family issues, and culture for more than 20 years. While her career began as a print reporter and columnist for newspapers and magazines, Biller turned her passion also to news broadcast reporting for public radio, wherein she produced documentary reports for which she received The Edward R. Murrow Award, two Golden Mike Awards, and three Society of Professional Journalists Awards for Best Series Reporting, Documentary Series, and Live Radio Reporting. Currently, she is writing two books for publication with Zorba Press which includes stories and prose about her Japanese and Russian background and cultural identity discoveries.

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anonymous Nov 11, 2013 7:23pm

What a beautiful poem. I really needed to read this right now. Thank you so much for sharing.

anonymous Feb 18, 2013 8:28pm

[…] is messy—bad things happen to good people. We all face hardships, but what makes us human is the ability to bounce back. We can become more resilient than we did before. Some things happen […]

anonymous Feb 14, 2013 2:56am

[…] is messy—bad things happen to good people. We all face hardships, but what makes us human is the ability to bounce back. We can come more resilient than we did before. Some things happen […]