February 23, 2013

This Wasn’t Part of My Resolution Plan!

So how are those resolutions workin’ for ya?

It’s been about seven weeks since the turn of the New Year. If you’ve made a New Year’s resolution or two, you’re likely finding yourself in the thick of it. You’re taking care of business, making progress, knocking over obstacles and scoring one for the home team.

Or, maybe you’re not.

I made my own New Year’s proclamation. I was going to finally knock off the last few (okay, maybe more than few) pounds of baby weight. I had it all planned out. No stopping me…no way. I was going to “join this wave of positivity and ride a resolution through 2013.” I was going to take care of me.

And I have—well, sort of.

I did join Weight Watchers Online. It was an invaluable tool to see what I’m doing wrong in my diet. I learned three things:

  1. I’ve become a snacker. A habit I avoided in my slimmer days. I’d like to say I’ve been choosing only healthy options, but my muffin top would say otherwise.
  2. I have a Starbucks habit that needs to be addressed, like, tomorrow…or maybe the next day.
  3. I really don’t like recording my food intake every day. I mean, I really despise it. I haven’t figured out if this is because I’m lazy, forgetful or don’t want to be truthful about my weaknesses. My vote’s for forgetful. Shhh, quiet muffin top!

I did join the new yoga studio up the street. It’s a beautiful place. I promptly took a class, talked to the manager, got on their sub list, subbed a class and then I got sick. And my kids got sick. I haven’t been back in two weeks. Sigh.

I did recently take a weekend to myself, courtesy of my supportive husband, to help reboot and recharge. It worked. And then I got sick.

Yea, who knew preschoolers were walking cold viruses. Our pediatrician says we can expect six to 10 colds a school year (cue scratching record sound effect). What?!

This wasn’t part of my resolution plan.

I did promise myself I’d take the entire year to reach my goal. I did expect to run into detours and roadblocks. I didn’t expect to be sick twice in six weeks (insert whiny voice here).

I’ve come to realize that lifestyle changes require a great deal of focus and effort. Even the most innocuous of tasks, like tracking your food intake, can become a daunting chore. But the irony is, the answer to my weight loss success lies in those food logs, and so do my faults.

Somehow, putting those mistakes in print makes me nervous, makes me uncomfortable—and that’s exactly what I need to be to push myself to the next step. Ignoring the truth and avoiding the obstacles only creates ignorance about myself.

In addition to being my harshest critic, I am also my best champion—and I need to act like it.

Instead of mindless snacking, I need to practice mindful eating.

I need to place my health above habits and find better ways to handle stress and hunger. I need to let go of my the things that don’t serve me (Diet Coke, Pringles and Starbucks mochas—yes, Amy, even the nonfat variety) and rediscover those that do.

For the only thing Diet Coke does for me is quadruple my salt cravings—oh, and make me blow up like a puffer fish.

Most of all, I have to be an example for my kids. In teaching them good eating habits, I have to be a leader and show enthusiasm for healthy choices.

Instead of just thinking of this year as creating a new me, it’s also about returning to the old me. The me who viewed food not just as sustenance, but as a mindful key to health.

I know how to get where I need to go, I just need to slow down and listen.

Time to focus on the work.


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