April 6, 2013

A Letter to My Daughter: Unsolicited Advice from Your Biggest Fan. ~ Nicole Markardt

I wish that I could turn back the clock and reveal some of these lessons to my younger self.

I am blessed with a son and a daughter. Any parent with one of each knows the difference. We love our children with every fiber of our being—more than we love our own life.

Our daughters…we know their female hearts as we know our own. Their female energy must be respected, and their sensitivity honored. That is often very difficult for women.

I truly believe that the world stands to benefit from our self-actualization and female power in this world.

While our children must steer their own course, their journey is part of something much greater than we can ever imagine. We try our best to inspire self-worth, perseverance, and offer unconditional love and acceptance. As adults, we’ve uncovered (and continue to learn) some “secrets” to guide us through this life. We may still struggle with the very things that we’ve uncovered, but mindfulness can take us to new depths.

I wish that I could turn back the clock and reveal some of these lessons to my younger self, but then again, I needed to learn them on my own (just as my children do). However, like every parent does, I will offer my advice anyway.

My love,

Please read this at different points in your life and know that you are loved beyond measure.

1. If he tells you that he doesn’t deserve you, believe him.

2. If he tells you that you don’t deserve him, run!

3. Do something that you enjoy all by yourself once in a while. Enjoy your own company and learn comfort in silence.

4. Love stories can be beautiful and artistic. Don’t strive to achieve anything similar, but let them inspire love. Strive to equate inspiration with real experiences, not with fictional ones.

5. If it feels good, that does not mean it is good for you. Always ponder this.

6. Don’t be afraid to disagree with people.

7. Friendship should feel good.

8. Sometimes walking away is far more courageous than staying.

9. Be discriminating. You’re not meant to like everyone.

10. People will dislike you; don’t dwell on it.

11. Never act mean to fit in.

12. Take chances; you’re not meant to have all the answers.

13. Take a yoga class at least once in your adult life.

14. Be authentic; go against the grain sometimes.

15. Trust that feeling in your stomach; it will never fail you.

16. Always wear underwear; it’s gross not to.

17. You will get your heart broken; you will recover.

18. There may be a love that you never quite get over. You may always feel a longing—and that’s ok. It means that you’ve loved deeply, and was strong enough to let go.

19. You may break someone’s heart. Forgive yourself. We’re all just trying to be happy.

20. I will write a new letter to you in 10 years.

21. Never believe in anything blindly. Use discernment. Question.

22. Forgiveness doesn’t require clinging to a toxic connection. Release what doesn’t serve you. Forgiveness is mostly for your own inner peace.

23. In every heartbreak, every rage, and every single milestone, you are loved beyond measure.

24. You’re most beautiful when you’re being kind.

25.  It’s ok if you don’t enjoy cooking, cleaning and do not gravitate toward “home-making.” Neither do I. Don’t ever try to fit a mold. Break them.

26. Find a partner that wants a companion, not a second mother.

27. You’re worthy of the very best. Whatever “it” is, you deserve it all!

28. You’ll make mistakes. Make them. That’s where growth happens.

29. Learn from those mistakes because if you continue to make them, they are no longer mistakes but choices.

30. Look good to feel good but don’t let your looks define you. Your beauty is great and it comes from many channels.

31. Don’t diet. Try to be healthy. That is the best diet and the only one that works.

32. Have faith. People are mostly good.

33. Be responsible for the energy that you bring into a room.

34. Apologize if you feel remorseful. Do it quickly.

35. Go away with your girlfriends at least once.

36. Try to keep at least one childhood connection. The friends that witnessed what helped shape you are sacred and irreplaceable.

37. Reserve the right to change your mind.

38. Be vulnerable, and open. There’s so much beauty in that.

39. Surround yourself with positive people that are trying to be better. If you are gravitating toward negative ones, take notice.

40. Guard your thoughts. They create your reality.


My love, you are the universe’s answer to my most heartfelt prayer. I’ve never prayed harder for another human being than when I was pregnant with you.

You are a gift. Wherever you go, be the light.




Nicole is a mother of two, a NYC public school teacher, writer, and aspiring yogi. When Nicole was 18, she broke her back in two places. Doctors couldn’t be certain she would ever walk again. After a successful surgery and some difficult years, Nicole went on to lead a full life. She is a certified Level II Reiki practitioner, and actively pursues mind-body development. Her gratitude for the second chance she has been given, as well as, her knowledge of the power in mind-body connection is something she’s mindful of everyday. Nicole consistently practices Bikram yoga and has never felt better. Her articles have appeared in MindBodyGreen and she is the author of the Peace, Love & Practice blog on DoYouYoga.com.



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Assistant Ed: Josie Huang/Ed: Bryonie Wise


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