When He Doesn’t Love You Anymore. ~ Cindy Lee Lothian

Via Cindy Lee Lothian
on Apr 10, 2013
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“Lips that taste of tears, they say are the best for kissing.”

When he says he does not love you anymore, you question.

Is it you he doesn’t  love anymore, or the disease that he thinks you have now  become? When his arms do not reach out to hold you, is it your touch he is avoiding or his own fear? Do you feel that he no longer sees you when he looks into your eyes but instead a damaged version of who you used to be?

Love is easy when it is uncomplicated.

Love is fun when all that awaits is the anticipation of playful adventures.

Passion runs hot when healthy vitality surges through your body empowering you in your sexual prowess.

When you like what you see when standing naked in the mirror you thrill at the thought of sexual pleasure. But what if you no longer like what you see in the mirror?

You might now think your hips are far too wide or your breasts are no longer the perky peaks they were when you were first married.

When you look at your bed, rather than thoughts of wild carnal pleasure, you are lusting after a good night of eight hours of sleep. When hardships crack the surface of your perfect world you are left gazing at one another without false illusions.

What are you now seeing?

You are seeing who that person really is and has been all along.

They are not always the happy, self-assured, fun loving, playboy playmate you thought you married. Instead, they might have insecurities, weaknesses and God forbid, a chronic illness.

If your spouse says the words “you do not make me happy anymore” to your back because he is unwilling to see the hurt inn your eyes, it is okay.

The sound of the door closing and footsteps on the outside porch are all heralding the new.

The night my marriage ended, the rain beat against  the bedroom window as I gazed out at the wet night sky I thought my world had crumbled. The family I had built torn apart leaving me feeling lost and alone.

I did not know if it was me he did not love anymore or living with the constant reminder that good health was a blessing and not a given.

Did he feel like my illness was a third partner in our marriage?

What was I going to do with my small sons to raise and having an illness which left me fatigued and feeling anything but attractive?

I cried, I screamed, I healed.

I grew.

Let the tears fall until there aren’t any left; let your heart break into what feels like a thousand pieces.

For in this letting go, you are rebuilding yourself—in each ending, there is a beginning.

Maybe love cycles are not meant to last forever?

This is your time to love and celebrate in who you are.

If he does not love you anymore it is not because you are anything less than perfect.

Love will find you. Be ready. Be open. Just be you.


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Ed: Bryonie Wise


Source: iamtrueblue.tumblr.com via Michele on Pinterest




About Cindy Lee Lothian

Cindy Lee Lothian is a writer, mother and lover of life who has learned that her twenty year dance with the disease M.S., has given her Multiple Strengths. She writes about love, laughter, healing and hope. Follow Cindy’s blog, StillSexyAfterMS  and visit her Facebook page at Facebook 


12 Responses to “When He Doesn’t Love You Anymore. ~ Cindy Lee Lothian”

  1. Mindy says:

    It was a year ago today that my husband told me he did not want to be with me anymore and walked out the door. It still hurts but reading this was especially helpful today. I also had a chronic illness but I was blessed with an experimental cure that I tried after he left and now it is gone for good! I have a new life now in a beautiful place and an exciting job but I have still not let him go…. But I will and I am working towards it every day.

  2. Tami says:

    Beautifully written, Cindy.

  3. kimberly lo says:

    I hear this story too many times. So many women ask themselves, "What is wrong with ME?" when they are not the problem. The worst, in my own experience, is being left for someone else.

  4. Cindy LeeLothian says:

    Hi Mindy, I am so happy to hear that your medical treatment was a success and that you are now in a good place. Letting go of him will set you free to love again. Thanks for reading and sharing!

  5. CindyLeeLothian says:

    Thanks for comments Tami!

  6. My ex-husband didn't love me any longer because he only loved himself. No one can compete with that.

  7. Tara Lemieux says:

    Loved this ~ brilliant…thank you for sharing the gift of your words.

  8. Cat says:

    wow. thank you. I loved the last line the most.

  9. anon says:

    i ended my 9 year relationship and it killed me – the only thing that kept me going was the fact that i had yoga in my life…that being said – i still wonder if i did the right thing – and though i know i did it for the right reason, it doesnt mean that the hurt is less or that the fact that i am lonely without my soulmate and bestfriend – but what yoga gives me – no one can – and it is in this that i think i have found peace. so kudos to you – but rememember it might have nothing to do with the lack of love but rather that sometimes we just grow away from each other

  10. catnipkiss says:

    I think you got it right when you said "love cycles are not meant to last forever". It's a construct invented by society, and maybe Walt Disney. I did not have an illness or disease when a man I thought was my "true love" could not commit to me, but my "dis-ease" was wanting to travel, wanting to go new places. We parted. He's still in the same place, and I have been to a dozen countries since then. 🙂 It can definitely be worth breaking free….. – Alexa Maxwell

  11. Kayla says:

    Just recently, my boyfriend of over 2 1/2 years told me he didn't want to be with me anymore; his exact words were 'I'm not happy and I haven't been for awhile now'. I too have a chronic illness and even though he said it had nothing to do with the illness, I can't help but feel it's the illness, whether just a part or the full thing, that helped to end the relationship. He didn't love me anymore all of a sudden and it does hurt. My heart is completely broken. But at the same time, I KNOW this is a new beginning for me and this article couldn't have come at a more perfect time in my life because it confirms what I already know. Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience.

  12. Muks says:

    My boyfriend of almost four years has an illness and it is hard for both of us. Without outside help and support for me we maybe would not be together any more, at least not this happily. My Mom has an illness and my Dad tried to long. He isolated us, cutting the ties to families and friends. He left her when I was six years old. He was exhausted, hurt and had not much more to give to us children. I think it is ok for you to be hurt. it must be very hard for you. It is also ok for your ex partner to be hurt, scared, to feel not loved enough or not happy enough. I just wanted to comment from "the other side" 😉 Lots of love to you!