August 2, 2013

The Skinny Ego.

Dear Ego,

It was an interesting moment for me, reading your letter, and in retrospect, a poignant time in my life. It is a funny thing you mentioned that really struck me—highlighting two very different points—want vs need—how I ‘want’ to respond, to ‘how’ I need to respond.

In just a few hours, you have allowed me to learn more than an entire high school duration of lessons could teach. As such, I am so grateful for the universe and the divine timing of this events, and I would like to illustrate why.

I am so thankful for you taking the time to write this. No doubt, it took a lot of courage for you to carefully orchestrate and take your very precious time to type what you felt like you ‘needed’ to say, in the way you would think I ‘needed’ to hear it. It demonstrates, to me, most powerfully, the means of communication we use to interact with one another. In reading your letter, no longer will I ever divulge, engage in, or reach out to my friends and family, using this cowardly form.

It denotes the very opposite to genuineness and authenticity that I strive to achieve in every contact I have with those around me. Disregarding the content, I am sorry to say, is careless, faulty and fake. Thank you for opening my eyes to this.

I am so thankful for you illustrating the ‘ego’ that I have been so emotionally attached to for the past five years. From this, I am greatly empowered, with the knowledge that you, unfortunately, are going through some unsettling things, emotionally, that is causing profound ramifications to her self-worth and those that are close to her.

I am so happy that I am no longer in close proximity to you, as you must know from your road on self-development, those that are around us start to unconsciously draw us into their energy field, which can create disorder within other aspects of our lives.

Have you noticed this yet? Oh, you will.

Added to this, I am so thankful that you, up until now, have had no inkling as to how I feel, or how I am feeling about you, as unlike most, I did not infiltrate you with confusing messages of concern. Instead, you did that to me.. I once saw you as a mentor, a leader and burgeoning on a successful career. Now, through this, I have great clarity and illusion, and can see that I in fact placed you on a pedestal, when you need not be. You are human, a woman, and unbeknown to me, one that may be successful in your field, yet, behind close doors, the opposite is true. No longer am I blinded. I can now recognize those special people I currently have in my life, or those that I will eventually meet, and create a harmonious relationship, based on honesty and integrity.

I will be drawn to them, and they equally to me and we will continue to bewitch and inspire each other at every given moment. So thank you.

I am thankful, that through this, I can respect the fact that people with baggage is something I do not ‘need’ nor ‘want’ at this incredible time of my life. I do not need to limit or burden myself with anything extra, that would further perpetuate our relationship. Added to this, I have now learnt about empathy, and genuinely feel for anyone living through their negative thoughts, barely surviving. I now see women, like you, in this situation, in a very different light.

Assumptions are dangerous, my friend, and I love to remind myself this, wherever possible.

I am  thankful for my values and beliefs, and that therein, are instilled in my friendships. You have helped me rediscover the vast difference between friend and acquaintance. You have allowed me to visualize the beauty of trust and loyalty, as well as honoring any relationship as it is, rather than adding in ego or taking action primarily for one-self.

Now, I will prioritize my tasks accordingly, moving forward with courage, honour, and trust—and only divulge my truest of truths to those who I call my friends, that I can count on one hand—you, I am sorry, are not included.

I am thankful that you got to see me at my lowest of lows, and that I opened and bared my soul to you. Unashamedly enlightening you with my thoughts, concerns, and feelings—relentlessly holding nothing back. Through this, you will be able to envisage where I was, to where I will eventually be.

When I am propagated to such heights shining brighter than bright, you will be compelled to put on your fake designer sunglasses, unable to escape my image nearly 24 hours of the day. You will recognize how I struggled and then pulled myself up, from strength to strength. I will smile, with a twinkle in my eye and walk with an err of effervescence—gutsy, sexy, accessible but still poised. You will notice, whilst simultaneously wonder, how I can inspire others to be magnificent.

Then, you will appreciate how you had no part in my eventual success, nor will you have any influence over my future.

Finally, I thank you for how amazing I feel, in this moment—and so proud of what it has taken to get me there. No one knew about our torrid affair, and still, that will remain. I am so impressed by the fact that it happened purely organically, and I am proud that I did nothing other than be me, by getting to where I currently am and will continue to do so, moving forward.

I am also now surprised by the fact that me ‘wanting’ to write this, has created so much balance and freedom within me. I have no idea how long you have been thinking about this, dwelling on this, nor the time it took you to piece those words together.

However, I would like to share with you that the time this has taken me to write this response is about the right time I needed to waste time thinking about it—and after I press send, it too, will pass.

Your Soul


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Ed: Bryonie Wise

{Photo: via Pinterest}

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