How to Get Out of Your Own Way.

Via Mark Hyman
on Oct 9, 2013
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self-esteem mirror

I get in my own way.

Chances are, unless you are an enlightened master, you also have blind spots, areas of your life that just don’t work—relationships, work situations, your health, finances, your family, etc.

How do you deal with them?

If you are like me, you can’t often see them clearly. You find yourself stuck in the same situation over and over again, creating upset and unhappiness. It could be your way of thinking that gets you into trouble, or past traumas and stress, or childhood patterns.

Whatever it is, we have two choices: live with it and continue to be unhappy or take a good, serious look at yourself in the mirror. The key word here is mirror. We can’t see our blemishes until we have a mirror to reflect them back at us.

We can struggle on our own, but the best thing I have ever done is to work with a coach. A good coach is like a mirror. And the best coach is the one who gets you to laugh at yourself and see the ridiculousness of the beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that keep you stuck.

I often refer my patients to a coach because they are stuck, and even though they know what to do, they can’t do it. In fact, working with a coach has helped me more than any other thing I have done to learn to communicate, to focus on what is important, to stop worrying, and to start acting in a way that leads to happiness rather than to frustration and stress. It’s like a chiropractic adjustment for my mind!

Therapy can be helpful, but life coaching is different.

For me, it works faster than talk therapy and has a much greater focus on creating real change. I want someone to get me to stop talking about my problems, to see them in a new light, and to shift things. I especially love it when my coach tells me I am full of it!

My coach points out how to act with integrity, wisdom, clarity, and compassion in everything I do—toward others but especially toward myself. It’s very powerful.

What I love about this group of coaches is:

  • Their mind/body/spirit perspective. As I do in my practice, they treat the whole person, rooting out the causes of issues rather than just treating the symptoms.
  • They know everyone is different. Though they are teaching a proven method, it is customized to each individual.
  • They are results-oriented. While your happiness is the key goal, they also insist on seeing practical, forward progress and tangible results in your career, relationships, with your body and health, and in your ability to plan and execute what you desire.
  • Their no-nonsense, direct coaching style. This includes telling it like it is and telling on themselves. A coach will never ask you to do something she or he hasn’t. They walk their talk.

Here are just eight of the many ways coaching can help you get out of your own way:

  1. Falling in love with your career
  2. Finding and keeping the love of your life
  3. Transitioning in any way (job changes, divorce, empty nest, new family structure, and more)
  4. Busting all the excuses that stop you
  5. Following through on what you plan to do
  6. Liking yourself deep down
  7. Expressing yourself truthfully and with grace
  8. Cultivating your risk-taking spirit

Even if you are happy and things are going well, coaching can be a powerful way to take a personal inventory and track those aspects of your life that can be enhanced. Chances are, you have some stuck spots or some squeaky wheels.

And a good mirror and some powerful coaching can go a long way to helping you feel more alive, awake, engaged, happy, and healthy.

At least, it’s worked for me. Give it a try!


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Ed: Bryonie Wise



About Mark Hyman

Mark Hyman, MD, believes that we all deserve a life of vitality—and that we have the potential to create it for ourselves. That’s why he is dedicated to tackling the root causes of chronic disease by harnessing the power of Functional Medicine to transform healthcare. Dr. Hyman and his team work every day to empower people, organizations, and communities to heal their bodies and minds, and improve our social and economic resilience. Dr. Hyman is a practicing family physician, a nine-time #1 New York Times bestselling author, and an internationally recognized leader, speaker, educator, and advocate in his field. He is the Director of the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. He is also the founder and medical director of The UltraWellness Center, chairman of the board of the Institute for Functional Medicine, a medical editor of The Huffington Post, and has been a regular medical contributor on many television shows including CBS This Morning, the Today Show, CNN, The View, the Katie Couric show and The Dr. Oz Show. Dr. Hyman works with individuals and organizations, as well as policy makers and influencers. He has testified before both the White House Commission on Complementary and Alternative Medicine and the Senate Working Group on Health Care Reform on Functional Medicine. He has consulted with the Surgeon General on diabetes prevention, and participated in the 2009 White House Forum on Prevention and Wellness. Senator Tom Harkin of Iowa nominated Dr. Hyman for the President’s Advisory Group on Prevention, Health Promotion, and Integrative and Public Health. In addition, Dr. Hyman has worked with President Clinton, presenting at the Clinton Foundation’s Health MattersAchieving Wellness in Every Generation conference and the Clinton Global Initiative, as well as with the World Economic Forum on global health issues. Dr. Hyman also works with fellow leaders in his field to help people and communities thrive—with Rick Warren, Dr. Mehmet Oz, and Dr. Daniel Amen,he created The Daniel Plan, a faith-based initiative that helped The Saddleback Church congregation collectively lose 250,000 pounds.  He is an advisor and guest co-host on The Dr. Oz Show and is on the board of Dr. Oz’s HealthCorps, which tackles the obesity epidemic by educating American students about nutrition. With Drs. Dean Ornish and Michael Roizen, Dr. Hyman crafted and helped introduce the Take Back Your Health Act of 2009 to the United States Senate to provide for reimbursement of lifestyle treatment of chronic disease. Dr. Hyman plays a substantial role in a major documentary, produced by Laurie David and Katie Couric, called Fed Up (Atlas Films, September 2014)which addresses childhood obesity. Please join him in helping us all take back our health at his website, follow him on Twitter and on Facebook and Instagram.


One Response to “How to Get Out of Your Own Way.”

  1. I agree with you life coaching differs a lot from therapy, Life coaching helps you reach your goal or make a change in your life. To all of those individuals who are planning to hire a life coach make sure that the one you hire is properly trained and has been accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF).