1 Tip for Being a Sweet Guy.

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I’ve met a few good men in my life.

Solid, sweet and flexible.

Yes, men that I want as my friends, because honestly as a woman, I prefer men as friends; there’s less—well, pettiness. They tell you where it’s at. I like that.

I’m raising two boys into manhood, slowly. Yet I realize that growing into a sweet man is difficult in our society.

Talk about layers and layers of an ice cream cake slowly thawing out.

Yep, it’s that good ol’ P word. No, not please or poop, but patriarchy; or “that’s just the way it is, baby.”

Well, I’m not anyone’s baby, but a woman who loves the soft masculine.

I love it when men can say those words that they want to hide. I love it when a man is willing to step out of their comfort zone: be open to giving and receiving. Click off the invisible shield, and feel.

Certainly, that’s asking too much of most men; it means they are too girly if they actually feel.

Yet why do they have to hide their feelings? Why do any of us, male or female or somewhere in between, have to follow the unspoken rules? Why do we have to do what’s right when it is unhealthy?

Being true to our heart is the greatest health we can give ourselves.

And hearts tend to be the domain of the feminine, not the masculine, so that’s why I love it when I see, hear or read of a man being open-hearted.

I feel excited for them! I want them living fully awake and honest with themselves. That’s bliss! That’s the bliss that we all need to get lost in. You know, I began this blog with the intention of writing a review of Jack Johnson’s new album, From Here to Now to You, because he is the ultimate mindful music man; he is a sweet man.

Of course, as a listener I get the edited version of Jack’s lyrical life, but I hear the type of man that I want my sons to grow in to with time.

He admits that it’s not easy, lack of sleep and washing dishes and birds taking over his attic, but it’s our reaction to these complex mundane moments that shape us into being who we become.

My favorite place in the album are these lines:

“You may find in the palm
Of your hand there’s a flame
As it burns. As it climbs
As it turns to a blaze
Well this flame it won’t last
Here it comes. Hold it close.
Because this blaze can be fast.
Set it free. Now there it goes.”

I think that it’s here in the blaze, in the moment, that the beauty of being masculine becomes feminine and the feminine becomes masculine.

Yes, this flame of being won’t last, but it’s in the being, in the flickering light, that we become who we are.

We are all one, but we need to loose those chains of the P-word, please.

Let’s learn to trust in our feelings, in our intuition and in our flames because we are the only things that we can be.

Like I said, I’ve met a few good men: solid, sweet and flexible.

You are one of them.

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Editor: Bryonie Wise

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Jessie Wright

Jessie Wright is an artist who grew up as a wild girl in the Sierra Nevada mountains. She holds an MA in Creative Writing from Goddard College. Her art, poetry, and writing may be found at Be You Media. Connect with her via Twitter, and enjoy her Instagram account (her favorite place to hang out in social media land).
 
P.S. You can find Jes’s most recent poetry book here.

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anonymous Nov 20, 2013 12:49pm

You're welcome! Right on! Glad it got you thinking!

Check out Michael Kimmel. He is an excellent author who has written about masculine and feminine!

anonymous Nov 20, 2013 10:39am

In my perspective, the differences, which do exist in the behaviors and functioning of women and men, are cultural, are learned and acquired characteristics. Any human male or female, given the opportunity, can acquire and master the same culture and skills which any other human female or male being has been able to acquire and master. We can refuse to accept any of the present limits which cultures project upon the flowering of human beings. We can insist that the boldest and freest definition of a man and a woman attempted until now is misleading," like masculine or feminine" that the capacity of a human being is limitless and cannot be defined. Thanks for your thinking about this subject.

    anonymous Nov 22, 2013 12:21pm

    I disagree that differences between sexes are all learned and cultural. My delightful nephew, now a young man was not allowed to have toy guns when he was a boy. What did he do? Made a gun with his finger and proceeded to shoot all of us. This as a 3 year old. I’ve never seen a girl do this.

      anonymous Nov 22, 2013 1:33pm

      Thanks for your story…sounds like your grown nephew is a sweet guy regardless of the "toy gun or not to have a toy gun" moment in his childhood. We are all collections of our experiences, and either/or—nature vs. nurture—perpetuates an ideal that is no longer healthy for us, and our world. Let's do our best to be sweet!