Creating new relationships can often be an enlightening process, and uncover for us our own hidden beliefs and fears, that we previously may not have known about ourselves.
This can be a wonderful opportunity for self-awareness, and personal growth and can help us to create new pathways towards love, both within us, and towards our loved ones.
I once wrote a very short list of “what if’s…” when approaching a blooming new romantic relationship with a long lost love. In fact, the list I wrote was so short—it contained just two distinctly opposing thoughts.
My first thought was “what if he lets me down?” and then my second was “what if he doesn’t?”
In the exact moment I wrote my second “what if,” and felt the stab of fear in my heart (of being truly loved—for the very first time) the proverbial penny dropped within my mind, and I knew I was in a place of personal fear that needed addressing. I was in a place of fear, which identified to me my own belief of how unworthy I was feeling of being loved in that moment.
What an awareness opportunity!
So how do we use such opportunities for our own personal growth and well-being?
1. Identify where you are.
The first step in any movement forward, is to simply become aware of your surroundings and situation, and to know exactly where your foundation lays, so that you can move forward from a firm footing.
Often if you delve within your memories, you can easily see the root cause of any harmful thought—be it a demanding parent(s), hurtful sibling, school-yard bully, or previously wounded heart. Knowing where your harmful belief first sowed its seed within you, can be a freeing realisation.
3. Challenge your thoughts.
Once you have gone through steps one and two: of first coming to an awareness of your unhelpful belief/thought; and then finding its root cause, you can easily move to the next step of challenging the thought each time it repeats itself within your mind and free yourself from identifying with it any longer.
4. Love yourself.
Replace any old, un-lovable, or unhelpful thoughts with loving ones. Being loved by another human being is wonderful—but to truly be open to feeling another’s love for you, you must love yourself first, and feel that love within you. Feeling love within, allows you the gift of both giving and receiving it freely.
Awareness opportunities created in any new relationship have the potential to bring forth the greatest lesson which will help your relationship move forward. The lesson is to free yourself from any harming beliefs or barriers you may hold against love for yourself. As you do this you will discover your most natural, knowing, innate state: to be giving and receiving of love with another.
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Assistant Editor: Melissa Petty / Editor: Catherine Monkman