This piece was inspired Things I Would Like to Do with You in the Woods, written by Waylon Lewis.
I would like to do things with you. Lots of things.
But, I have searched and I have not searched and still, I can’t find you. When you arrive, we will go to the woods. I know you will like it there. You will like it there with me.
“I often sit and watch the leaves change colour and fall from the tree. To me, those leaves signify the constant change in our own lives and all the beautiful colours signify our own emotions. As the leaves, change and fall from the trees with such grace and gentleness, they’re reminding us to be gentle with ourselves as this chapter ends and the next journey begins in our lives.”
~ Annalee Hopkins
I will bring my dog with me when we meet for the first time. And you will bring yours. I want to see your face break into a wide smile as you watch them interact for the first time. They will love each other, until they squabble over nothing at all. Or get jealous when the other gets a little too much fuss. But they will make up quickly and there will be no grudges.
We will learn a lot from our dogs.
There is a path cut out in the woods, from the footsteps of thousands before us. Having no fear of the unknown, we naturally carve our own way. If we lose ourselves in the forest, well I would like that.
The joy of adventure would overcome the fear of what may happen to us out there alone with only nature for protection. Together we stumble upon a new way to navigate the forest. In the past, I have taken one path and you another, but this time it is different.
I would notice the shoulders of a warrior before me and know that when I’m around you I would never be in any danger. Almost visible is the bow you would readily pull, should you ever need to.
“Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity & unless that affinity is created in a moment,it will not be created for years or even generations.”
~ Khalil Gibran
I need to touch you, to be held by you, to hold you. Not sexually, nor as friends—but deep. I crave your electricity. The energy and chemistry will flow through my fingers as soon as I touch you. In return, the strength of your masculine passion returns that electric flow and makes my body shiver, tingling every part of me.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung
No words spoken as the intensity of what is happening physically is already too much and makes speech impossible. I want to hold you as I would an intense crystal—closing my eyes and noticing what is happening inside.
Breathing. Taking and receiving until we are recharged and cleared of karmic energy that was blocking the flow of love, both for ourselves and each other.
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Our dogs will run playfully ahead of us as if not wanting to interrupt the connection. Caught up in their own longing to meet another whose energy aligns so equally.
Dancing in and out of each other’s path, one taking a few leaps forward, the other a few steps back but in such an equal formation that there is no doubt that the other has any fear about the other’s intentions.
Souls resonating with each other.
Your hair, messy. I have always loved it like that. And neither are you clean shaven. When you need to be, you look suave. Today though, you need to be exactly as I imagined. And you are.
It is not physical perfection that I need. Although, you are perfect, you are also not perfect and that makes you perfect. Rugged charm.
I knew you would be dressed in knits. Not because we are nearing Autumn, but you like the feel of wool. And its texture. Texture is important to you. In every sense. You are nostalgic—you like things from days before.
I will look as you imagined. Every time you see me I will most likely look different. I am not like anyone else you have dated—no similarity.
You like this.
Sometimes, I will make you laugh at what I am wearing, fondly though. I will also smile at your crazy outfits. You like my hat—you think it suits you better.
We will find a quaint spot. It’s turning towards evening so the sun is still shining through. There is a sense that we are the only two people on the earth and that no one else and nothing else matters. Absorbing the universe. We lie side by side but slightly touching. My head rests on your chest, the only vibration the sound of your heart which I notice increasing slightly.
You break the silence.
We discuss things that no other person would make sense of. No consciousness to anything that is happening. Your voice calm, soothing, striking chords within I never knew existed. My voice soft and gentle creates a contrast with yours. We both notice the harmony.
Even though we talk, it will be nothing of importance, we are creating bonds that will never be destroyed. No two souls connect in the same way, so every second is unique and will never be matched or replaced.
There will be the perfect tree to climb. Strong, sturdy, well spaced branches inviting us up to connect with our childhood roots. I go first. You tell me I climb like a squirrel. One Winter I will live like a squirrel. I will store food, hibernate from the harsh weather. Venture out only for necessities.
I will catch up on all the books I still need to read and we can both carry out our work via laptop. You will give me your favourite yoga mat and sometimes I will curl up on it and meditate. Other times we will breathe and bend together and sometimes our yoga won’t consist of any stretching at all.
We will play card games and watch documentaries about Jacques Fresco and discuss politics. I will stretch you and you, me. We will come up with a plan to save the world. At least we would try.
You open the bottle of wine you packed in your old vintage hamper. You pull out an old Dean Martin vinyl and the small portable record player (which was also in the hamper that looked like it belongs to Mary Poppins). When the music plays, we will drink our wine and our cheeks will get warmer as the conversation deepens.
I will notice fear in your eyes. You already think you may lose me. I am not yours to lose and neither are you mine. I have as much fear as you do. But, I am not afraid. Fear itself is always worse than the reality of whatever is feared. You breathe. Deeply. You have lived your life in fear you would never find this. And now it is here, you fearful of losing.
Your face softens and it has passed. For now. But, it will return. I will feel it too. Often at the most unexpected of times. We have both witnessed the path that fear takes. We have watched it come and watched it go. And we know we can defeat it.
“Fear is an aid to the warrior. It is a small fire burning. It heats the muscles, making us stronger. Panic comes when the fire is out of control, consuming all courage and pride.”
~ David Gemmell, Lord of the Silver Bow
I wish to stay out all night with you in that forest. We would lay tartan check fleece blankets on the floor and you will be softly layered—tartan check and tweed. You would share with me something warm of yours. And I would snuggle into it and into your arms that pull me into you like the wings of birds sheltering from the winds.
We would light a small campfire.The warmth from the flames would take the edge off the cool air once the sun had retreated to give way to the moon.
We will talk and you read to me and we would talk some more. I will read to you and you will laugh when I get the words mixed up, like I sometimes do. But, it is an endearing laugh—one that makes me feel loved. We would play and find strange creatures we have never seen before and listen to the noise of the dark woods. Really listen.
We will dance right there next to the soft glow of the campfire. We would dance slow and you would lead and then we would kiss. Then you will lead again and the dance will get faster.
I would like to die with you out there that night, and reunite. And be reborn. My soul belongs with you and yours with me. I do not want to own you though and I do not want to be owned. Neither do I want to be one half. We will complete each other completely. Magnetised. Yin. Yang.
We will plan to adventure and to travel to many countries and possibly even fly there, but not in an aeroplane. You tell me about your family and your friends and stories from long ago. I could listen forever. I want time to stand still yet I want our future.
When the morning comes we must separate and I will cry salty watery tears but you will remain strong and wipe them away. I know you feel things the same way as me, but you bite your lip hard and hold me. My long cotton dress is creased and my hair is also messy now, but the look of adoration in your eyes tells me you love me like this even more.
You tell me of your enchanting crooked cabin. Built from reclaimed timber with salvaged doors and beams. A colourful hammock hangs outside. I will be intrigued by the quirky and rare things you will have collected along your journey. An antique rocking chair, vintage clock and books and more books. Wool blankets set next to the fire. Reds, browns, greens. A haven.
For a moment, we are shaken by the realization that we might never see one another again. Love can’t happen instantly. It takes time and it is not acceptable in society to fall so deep with no fear that no one will catch our fall. Maybe, we should wait and do what everyone else does, be sensible and cautious. After all, we both have bruises from past falls and those connections were nothing like this.
You are deep and sensitive and your wounds open up to me. You are passionate and I can see how you are looking at me. I know I am everything you have dreamed of—not more—just exactly as you imagined.
You already know me. You knew me before I even was. And before you were who you are.
You reach to me. We both know it is acceptable to fall in love with a puppy at first sight, a newborn baby, a vintage dress or convertible car. So, is it acceptable to fall instantly in love with the soul of another human? Whether or not it is possible to live together in the world as it is today, is another question for another time.
Neither of us will care what lies ahead. The only thing matters is retaining that feeling created right there for as long as we both possibly can. Be it a moment or a lifetime.
We will drink hot chocolate from a café nearby. We will sit outside and I will have marshmallows with my cream. You will not order marshmallows but will steal mine. We will put cream on the tips of our dogs noses and take pictures of them licking it off.
You go to the counter and talk with the old couple who run the place for at least half an hour, you laugh with them and listen. Meanwhile I sit outside reading the local paper and smile at passers by.
You need to work and I need to work and we lie on your bed side by side and work online for an hour and then, when we have done as little as possible, we turn our concentration back to one another.
We make lots of love.
We blink and three days have passed us by and I really must go.
I never want to leave.
Although I will, I will always return—and I will never want to leave.
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Editor: Dana Gornall
Photo: Schwarzkopf & Schwarzkopf Verlag/Yapp/Life Magazine