How Often Should a Yogi Have Sex? ~ Brian Leaf

Via Brian Leaf
on Nov 14, 2013
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Years ago, towards the end of a month-long program at The Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Western Massachusetts, I found myself sitting in the Jacuzzi next to a very famous yogi.

I knew he had recently left the order of monks and was in a relationship, and I wondered how often an ex-monk has sex.

I ask him, “How often do you have sex?”

Ever equanimous, he equivocates, “There’s no certain prescription. But ideally, for me, sex should not be stress management or a way to smooth over a fight. My partner and I have sex when we feel a bubbling up of love for one another and the urge to express that love physically.”

Very nice. Beautiful answer. But I want a number.

I push him, “So this bubbling up of love happens, what, a few times a day, monthly, only on solstice?”

“OK, OK,” he relents, “about once a month.”

That’s sounds a tad slim to me, so I look to Ayurveda, the traditional medical system of India, often called the sister science of yoga, for an opinion. And it turns out that Ayurveda does in fact have a very clear stance on the correct commonness of coitus. On the fitting frequency of…well you get the idea.

Ayurveda agrees and disagrees with my hot tub swami. According to Ayurveda, the answer depends on your constitutional type. Ayurveda teaches that every person is a blend of three proclivities, ordoshas, described as ether/air (vata), fire (pitta), and water/earth (kapha).

While each person is blend of these energies, usually one predominates.

In order to properly preserve vital energy and channel it toward spiritual evolvement, which we yogis call brahmacharya, Ayurveda recommends that vata types can hit the sheets once or twice per month. That about matches what I heard back in the hot tub.

For pitta types, though, the number is more like every two weeks. Pretty good, not bad. But, Kapha is the clear winner. Ayurveda suggests that you lucky kaphas out there can get tantric and engage your mating mula bhanda two to three times per week.

Good for you, kapha. Enjoy. I’m only a little bit jealous. Though, really, as a vata guy, through and through, just thinking about that makes me fatigued.

You can determine your own Ayurvedic constitution by seeing an Ayurvedic practitioner or by taking an online survey.

Keep in mind, though, that taking the survey is the easy part.

Are your really ready to find out your own magic number?


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About Brian Leaf

Brian Leaf, M.A., is the author of yoga memoir, Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi: My Humble Quest to Heal My Colitis, Calm My ADD, and Find the Key to Happiness. You can follow him on Facebook and Twitter and find him online at


7 Responses to “How Often Should a Yogi Have Sex? ~ Brian Leaf”

  1. kcat says:

    I'm so tired of the religious and societal views around sex that are shoved down our throats. I'm sex-positive-Sex is wonderful- fun, beautiful, a way to express yourself, to release built up energy, to collide and melt in to another person (or persons!)- it can be kinky or it can be loving, or ideally a mix of both. In my opinion (as long as it is safe and mutually desired) the more often the better.

  2. hilary says:

    This is the best news ever. 🙂 My favorite foods might not line up with kapha needs, but at least my sex drive does! 😉

  3. Very good article, Brian!
    Anyway to have Tantra approach… can extend the time of a sex intercourse to a week time… And will be no more opportunity to have more times than one per week!

  4. Trembly says:

    Kapha dominant baby! 😀

    According to the dosha quiz on the Chopra centre website I am the following :

    Kapha : 5
    Pitta : 1
    Vata : 4

  5. Aparna Amy says:

    Ancient Vedic culture was very sex positive (see the Ratirahasya or the Kama Sutra), but always within a larger context of health – physical, spiritual and social. What are the needs of the community (societies need householders, families are good for communities), what are the needs of the Atman (what builds sattva, what increases rajas/tamas), and what are the needs of the body (depleting the body of shukra dhatu (semen) can deplete overall ojas/vitality and increase Vata). So Ayurvedic guidelines are about promoting complete health. There is also an entire science of Vajikarana and Rasayana to help improve fertility and lengthen life. However, the first action to achieve health is to stop doing those things that are causing the imbalance. For many men, excessive indulgence in masturbation or sex over time may lead to vata associated disorders (but not hairy palms) 🙂

  6. yoga man says:

    This discussion seems very odd and quite prudish to me. I find that men are led to believe that sex IS ejaculation. Once they get over that get-and-spend mentality and control ejaculation, they can have sex with a lover any number of times a day. I feel that sex is healthy and restorative and that the greatest experience is to serve my lover as a catalyst. evoking her repetitive female orgasmic experience… and I am blessed to be there, sharing that energy. Typically like a sweet prayer, we couple our mind, body and spiritual energy before we sleep and when we awake each day. Westerners are so repressed in so many ways… the scourge of Christianity IMHO.

  7. Daniel says:

    Daily loving sex is good if it is not an addiction. However, ejaculation frequency for men reduces over time, but they can still have sex every day.