November 15, 2013

How to Recognize a Yoga Mom.

We drive to class with our mats in the car seat.

Sometimes we tiptoe in after class has started because our babysitter was late. Again. We can do forearm stands while changing an organic, cloth diaper.

We’re yoga moms and here’s how you can recognize us:

1. We don’t care about see-through yoga pants. Please. Our modesty went out the window long ago when we gave birth with a room full of strangers staring at our crotch like it was a drive-in movie screen.

2. Yes, that’s spit-up on our tee-shirt that says “Namaste” and all that essential oil you smell on us is to cover up the smell, and ok, while we’re at it, yeah we may have been wearing this tee shirt for three days straight, but look, we made it here to practice and showing up is the most important part.

3. We’re so enlightened (ha!) that we can smile politely and nod when you suggest for the 90th time that maybe we should try the gentle class instead of the Hot Vinyasa Flow because we are eight months pregnant.

4. Our kids will bust out perfectly executed yoga poses in random places. “Look, Mommy! Down Dog!” In the cereal aisle at Whole Foods.

5. When we turn our backs for two seconds and find that in that amount of time our toddlers have managed to pour an entire, new carton of almond milk all over the kitchen floor and somehow the cat is also now missing a large chunk of fur, we know the real value of pranayama. Deep breaths. Lots of them. They work.

6. We know why it’s called child’s pose and we love to watch our babies asleep with their adorable, little butts in the air.

7. Hip openers? Piece of cake. I’ve got a real hip opener for you. It’s called childbirth.

8. If you need wipes, pony-tail holders, band-aids, hand-sanitizer, arnica, an extra change of clothes even, we’ve got it. Moms are always prepared. Our bags may also contain toy cell phones, Princess Ariel tiaras and small bags of goldfish crackers if you happen to need any of those things as well.

9. Also, if you need us to kiss that boo-boo you got when you fell on your face trying to do Crow, we can handle that too. Our kisses have magical healing powers.

10. Happy Baby is our favorite pose, but we wish there were a pose called “Sleeping Baby” and that our children would demonstrate its fullest expression for us tonight around 7:30 so we can catch up on all those great shows on HBO that everyone keeps telling us about.

11. You can find us before or after class in an excited gaggle where we’ll most likely be discussing how to increase our milk supply, Waldorf versus Montessori education, attachment parenting or how to make the best baby food out of biodynamic butternut squash.

12. Yeah, we’re definitely going to breastfeed until our kids go to college and we’re going to do it naked and in a perfect head stand. Ok, maybe not perfect, but we’re going to try.

13. In fact, that is a Lightning McQueen sticker on the bottom of my yoga mat. Yup, there’s a Cheerio too and oh look, there’s that missing chunk of cat fur.

Yoga helps us be better people for our kids. We don’t practice just to get our pre-baby bodies back.

We practice because we love ourselves and our families and all the miracles our bodies can perform, from nurturing life to Standing Bow.

We come in all shapes and sizes.

We may have stretch marks, a little belly flab, dark circles under our eyes from sleep deprivation and saggy boobs (or not) but we’re proud yoga moms.

You’ll recognize us by our radiance.


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Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Helga Weber

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