November 21, 2013

That’s How the Light Gets In. ~ Kayla Gonchar

Everybody is always running from something, whether they want to admit it or not: a test, family problems, work and almost always themselves.

We have this unique ability to be capable of lying, about the simplest things to the most complex, however, the person we lie the most to is ourselves. We pity ourselves when we feel like something is unfair, we tell ourselves that everything will be okay when it won’t, we hide things, compartmentalize things and trick ourselves into believing things we originally knew were false.

What happens when we get too good at hiding things from ourselves?

What happens when we can’t remember where we started, or even why? What do we have to do to make ourselves feel loved, to make us feel as if we can accomplish something? Life has a funny way of knocking us down and shaking us to the core of ourselves, shaking away all these false perceptions we made ourselves believe.

Then what?

People say being broken is the best thing, that it shakes us out of our routines and out of the false perceptions we have made. But when we’re broken and there is nothing left, where do we begin to put the pieces back together?

Introspection is an unique tool we’ve been given: the ability to look at ourselves. What happens when we don’t know who or what are looking at—how do we find calm in the chaos? How do we pick the shattered pieces off the floor and put them back together?

It’s as if we are putting a puzzle back together when there is no picture of what it’s supposed to be: the pieces are jagged, rough and nothing seems to go together.

They tell us to fake it, to put one foot in front of the other, but how do we walk when we don’t know how to stand? How does anyone get to a place where they know where they are going when they can’t even read the signs?

When we break and end up raw, everything we’ve ever tried to hide is on show for whoever looks our way. Those who do look instantly feel pity and say a quick thank you that it’s not them, but most just continue walking, looking at their feet, afraid if they do make eye contact that our brokenness will somehow transfer onto them.

However, this time of brokenness is liberating.

How else would we learn who we are and who we are destined to be? In a way it makes us free: free from misconceptions, free from lies, free from what other people want us to do and their ideas about who we need to be.  When we are lying on the floor wondering how we are going to stand up, a peaceful bliss falls over us: only when those expectations really fall away can we really breathe.

A calm covers us like a blanket and we start to think, “what am I going to do now?” The rawness sparks a fire at our core, making us rise from the ground and enabling us to rebuild, stand and put one foot in front of the other.

Being broken is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to a person. It enables us to rebuild a stronger foundation, one that is more true to who we are.

Without events that shatter us no one would grow, we would never have the opportunity to take control of our own lives and rebuild from the ground up.

The next time anyone ends up feeling raw, remember this is one of the most crucial times in one’s life, a chance where we can really make a difference in our own lives.

Like Elephant Spirituality on Facebook

Assistant Ed: Bronwyn Petry/Ed: Bryonie Wise
{Photo Credit: Elephant Digital Archives}

Leave a Thoughtful Comment

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Kayla Gonchar