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November 24, 2013

Why Do Young Women Do the Things They Do? {Adult}

Because they just don’t know better—yet.

All I wanted was take out Chinese for dinner.

I was tired and really didn’t want to get involved in the argument between you and your boyfriend behind me. When he called you a stupid bitch who always fucks everything up, I felt my own body take a defensive posture.

When I heard you say “Get your hands off me,” I knew had to turn around.

Funny, your nasty boyfriend wasn’t so badass when I looked him directly in the eye and asked if there was a problem.

In fact, it was pretty cowardly when he tucked his tail between his legs and slinked out of the restaurant once another man stepped in to help diffuse the situation.

But you, you a young girl with long red hair, you just stood there with your head down and stammered out an unnecessary apology to me and the others in the restaurant who were watching. You wouldn’t let me take you home or even call a friend for you.

Instead, you followed him outside and got into his car.

All I could do was watch you drive away with him, he still yelling at you and you still holding your head low.

As I shared this story with my friends and we all agreed the younger generation isn’t stupid nor are they stupid for love.

They just haven’t lived enough yet to know the things that we, older and hopefully wiser women, know.

We decided, if we could, we’d gather all the young women we know into a room and try and teach them the life lessons that we had to learn the hard way.

“When someone shows you their true colors, believe them the first time.”

~ Maya Angelou

  1. When you open up your heart to love you take the risk of getting hurt. Saying “But I love him” to your friends when they question your relationship won’t stop the hurt from happening. You can’t love someone enough to stop them from hurting you. If your friends are hoping this break up really is the one that breaks up for good, or you find yourself defending his behaviour to your family, you might want to consider whether this the best relationship for you.
  2. Not all guys are untrustworthy dogs. But some certainly are. We all have to learn the difference. There are some males out there who are more than just a guy, they are in fact amazing men. They will respect you, love you and uplift you. Keep your eyes open for them because they usually aren’t the ones surrounded by a crowd in the middle of the club.
  3. There is a difference between being in love and being comfortable. Being alone can be a little scary. But staying with someone because you’ve known them forever or you don’t know if you’ll find someone else isn’t a good reason to stay in a bad relationship. It’s not a good reason to stay in any relationship.
  4. Learn to be by yourself. Being by yourself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Take advantage of the time to figure out what you want and who you are. When you are confident in who you are, you will be confident in who you allow into your life.
  5. Stop doubting yourself! Listen to that little voice inside you. It’s your intuition and once you cultivate your inner guide you will find yourself on an unlimited path of potential.
  6. We are all allowed to make mistakes—in fact it’s expected. Understand though that if you continue to make the same mistake, it’s no longer a mistake it’s now called a choice.
  7. Speaking of becoming your own person, please put down your phone once in awhile. You are missing a lot of life going on around you while your head is down. Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat all have their worth as long you realize you are spending time looking at someone else’s life. Live your own life and make your own highlights.

 

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Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Shanon Wise

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Jennifer Williams-Fields  |  Contribution: 2,820