Why I Don’t Meditate (& What I do Instead). ~ Jennifer Twardowski

Via Jennifer Twardowski
on Nov 22, 2013
get elephant's newsletter


A few years ago I was introduced to meditation.

For a good six to eight months I was pretty dedicated. I did guided visual meditations, I did mantra meditations and I did mindfulness practice.

The problem was I found little change or benefit. During the meditations, either I’d fall asleep or my leg would. The process of meditating would just make me very tired or drowsy. Then when nighttime came, I couldn’t fall asleep because I had practically taken a nap or two that day through my attempt to “meditate.”

Additionally, I have never had any “heightened” experiences that so many people talk about. When people have told me that through meditation they feel “more connected” or “complete” within themselves I can’t quite comprehend how others achieve this through a formal meditation practice.

However, I do relate to their experience of feeling that way. I have felt a strong sense of the oneness that seems to transcend time and space. I have felt a sense of presence and support from spirit. I have felt more “complete” within myself and intensely present in the moment.

Struggling with meditation isn’t uncommon. Many of us struggle with falling asleep or how to. What is interesting though is that we often do experience a sense of connectedness in our day to day lives, but we just don’t realize it.

Many people enjoy activities like fishing because of the peacefulness they experience when out in nature. Others claim to experience a “runner’s high” when out running or a heightened state of calm during yoga.

These little activities that we do are natural to feel more connected, but it can feel so natural that we don’t realize what we are doing at the time. Here are some things that I do to get more connected and maybe these can work for you as well.


Taking part in some kind of movement is huge for me. Lately, I have been running, though for years the one thing that I have enjoyed the most is dance. There’s a joy and excitement that comes through with dancing. Once I let out physical energy through exercise, I feel much calmer and relaxed. Releasing some physical energy helps me to see things more clearly and can trigger some creative inspiration.

Listen to music.

Music has always really done something for me. I feel a sense of joy, happiness, love and interconnectedness through it. It doesn’t matter if I’m listen to Michael Jackson or Garth Brooks. Because music is a unique expression of spirit in human form, it works for me.

Creative expression.

Though I do enjoy reading spiritual books and observing the creative work of others for inspiration, there is a much greater richness that comes out of actually creating things myself. Personally, I enjoy writing because it provides me with an outlet to stream all my inner ideas outward.

However, I also find it beneficial to do crafts, sew, paint or do some sort of design work. The process of creation is like meditation because it quiets the mind and provides a sense of peace and clarity.

Keep a dream journal.

For nearly two years now I have kept a dream journal. Though many of us feel that our dreams are just weird and we choose to ignore them, I have found that my dreams are actually very intelligent. My dreams have been able to tell me exactly what I need to be working on and aware of in my development.

By paying close attention to them, over time, I have been able to see and feel a sense of spirit or connectedness. I realized that the more I pay attention to them, the more I can see with clarity.

Keep a close intimate relationship with spirit.

This is tough to remember consistently, but I have found it very empowering and enriching. I pray, I read tarot and oracle cards, I keep a prayer box (write a prayer on piece of paper and put it in the box) and sometimes I’ll just talk to spirit as if it’s just a regular conversation with an old friend. I’ve noticed that the more I focus on my “marriage” to spirit, the more I feel spirit’s presence.

Practice mindfulness.

I did this during my late teenage years, though I didn’t know that it was a mindfulness practice at the time. I will focus intensely on being present and listening to my body.

Soak in the coolness of a morning breeze and the sound of birds chirping. Embrace each sip of green tea. Pay close attention to the feeling of each movement while doing yoga. Take in each moment for all that it has. Let go of this inner push to do and just be.

If I do meditate, it’s quality over quantity. For myself, I have found that the benefits of long and deep guided visual meditation done in a group can last me a week.

When meditating in a group setting, the collective energy of the group doing the meditation makes the experience so much more powerful and enriching.

Like elephant meditation on Facebook.

Assistant Editor: Steph Richard

{Photo: via Pixoto}


About Jennifer Twardowski

Jennifer Twardowski is a self and relationship expert. She helps 20-something women to overcome codependency and people-pleasing so that they can create fulfilling relationships and feel empowered. She has founded her business upon the belief that healing and peace can come through complete understanding in both our relationships with others and our relationships with ourselves. Learn more about Jennifer here. You can also follow her on Facebook or twitter.


7 Responses to “Why I Don’t Meditate (& What I do Instead). ~ Jennifer Twardowski”

  1. daniel says:

    I suggest finding a good meditation teacher to talk to frequently and have monitor your progress and provide feedback. I struggled with meditation for about 1.5 years and also never had much happen until I started working with a Mahamudra teacher and getting personal attention and feedback. It's been totally transformative and a lot deeper than the meditative experiences I was having while exercising or painting, and actually helped me shine a light on some internal knots I didn't even know I had. It also lead to a huge leap in my day-to-day mindfulness. It hasn't been easy but it has been more than worth the effort, and having a good, attentive teacher made all the difference

  2. weedouthate says:

    Dear Jennifer, I believe you would be very much interested in my 'weed out hate, sow the seeds of peace' spiritual gardening program… It is a spiritual fitness regimen that involves relating weeding the garden to rooting out inner weeds and planting sunflower peace seeds in their place.

  3. Jennifer Twardowski says:

    That does sound interesting. I'll have to check that out!

  4. Jennifer Twardowski says:

    Glad to hear that you've been able to find something that helps you move forward! 🙂

  5. weedouthate says:

    I am on facebook and on linkedin. I also have a website. Wishing you a wonderful evening.

  6. sacredgoddess says:

    I found that even folks like me who are too impatient to meditate

  7. Jennifer Twardowski says:

    Definitely! 🙂