You have taught me the difference between anger and sadness, the power of vulnerability and the essence of true courage and strength. You have taught me to see my own shadows and face them head on, shedding light on the dark alleyways living in my mind.
You have been a flashlight and a hammer, knocking down walls and barriers that have kept me at a stand-still, immobile and anxious. You’re like a chalkboard covered in lessons learned and I am your student, front row center, taking notes that appear to have been permanently inscribed on my heart.
I am starting to see life as a complicated form of simplicity, molding into its own shape everyday, with no clear blue prints for how to navigate its winding roads and fight its uphill battles.
However, perhaps it’s actually quite simple; maybe what I need most is to stop searching, stop seeking, stop trying to navigate my way through life, but rather follow the journey through my own heart. This journey has no twists and turns- it lies on a stone path of intuition and love, and from that path, I am limitless.
Just hours until 2014 hits, I find myself in a state of stillness. My heart is swaying back and forth like the cold wind outside my windows as I ask myself what form this year will take.
Who do I want to be in 2014 and what do I want to stand for in my life?
What am I committed to? Should I sit down and make a list of resolutions that I will most likely lose sight of in a week from now? Am I to make a list of all of the things I wish to do differently that could maybe make me healthier, happier and wealthier? Do I turn my life into a checklist of to-dos in hopes of resolving the past and creating the future?
If the answer to these questions were yes, I apparently would not have learned as much as I thought I did from you.
Instead of tip-toeing, I am storming, full speed ahead.
There is nothing to solve or re-solve; just life to live and love to feel.
Instead of over-committing, I am over-delivering.
There are boundaries I will keep in order to find balance everyday.
Instead of numbness, I wish to feel—anything and everything.
After all, feeling is life’s greatest gift—you taught me that.
2013, you have come to an end, and as I embrace the year ahead, I am committed to being wholeheartedly committed to myself; to find the light in the darkness; to be the artist, painting vibrant colors of emotion on the blank canvas ahead, allowing me to lead from my heart while keeping things simple, even amidst the greatest of complexities.
You also taught me to see that it takes courage to commit to commitment itself—
2014, I’m committed to you, because I’m committed to me. It’s that simple.
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Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Wikimedia Commons