December 2, 2013

Platonic Sensual Touch: Put Your Hands on Me. ~ Damien Bohler

Can we be sensual & loving in our touch even though we aren’t intimate partners?

How much can we trust and let down our walls for another to come close to us? Can we even be turned on, ride those waves, without it going anywhere sexual?

Platonic Sensual Touch: to touch and be touched sensually in the absence of a sexual agenda. A few months ago I co-discovered this phrase with some friends to denote a physical connection (without a sexual direction) that I have been yearning for more of in my life.

“This is what I want!”

As I spoke the words I immediately had several hands upon me, holding and stroking. Hardness within me melted a little bit that day and has continued with every sensual encounter that has followed. Since I made that request to the universe, I have had many beautiful moments of platonic sensual touch come into my life. Times I have shared a bed and we snuggled all night, concert hand holding, back rubs, many-hand massages, group cuddles and more. I want even more!

At times platonic sensual touch has required me to step into discomfort, as my boundaries are discovered and expanded. For some this is an easy, almost natural way to be. But for others like me, touching and being touched can feel confrontational. I have found this kind of touch in my life to be healing, nurturing, liberating and essential to my wellbeing. Platonic sensual touch is worth exploring.

The following poem is dedicated to those lovely beings who have shared these moments with me, and all the ones I haven’t met yet.

I want to touch you and be touched by you. In this moment, nothing more and nothing less.I want our hands to find one another and be intertwined,

Or to rest my head in your lap and let you gently stroke my hair. 

I want to caress your feet and run my fingers up and down your calves.

You may shiver in delight or flex your toes like a feline indulging.I wish to place my hand trepidatiously on your belly, that softest of places.Is it ok there?

Breathe. You are safe. Your “no” is welcome anytime.

I want to hug you and be hugged by you, anytime. Not just in greetings or departure. Perhaps we may have the night together, curled up as spoons sharing a bed. Maybe we just met for the first time,And I love you anyway.

Back scratches, foot massages, tickle time, blowing raspberries on your tummy. Cuddle puddles, wrestling, writhing, dancing, playing in connected motion. Can we enjoy each other sensually, physically, fully?I don’t have to be your lover, nor you mine.

To just…simply…


May we all welcome more touch in our lives that is safe, nurturing & comfortable.


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Assistant Editor: Jennifer Moore/ Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Courtesy of Jennifer Moore

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Tiffany Musser May 2, 2019 1:00pm

I’m learning to accept this form of love and expression daily. It’s sometimes such a foreign concept to me. That poem spoke to me so beautifully. ?

Richard Mar 17, 2014 3:24pm

Wonderful. The poem is delightful. I want to live that.

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Damien Bohler

Damien Bohler is a nomadic soul increasingly delighted by his existence on this strange and wonderful planet. He enjoys writing, climbing trees, walking barefoot, permaculture, integral theory and holding optimistic idealism for the potential of the human species. You can like his Facebook page and be informed about his upcoming book series “Evolutionary Relating”, read his other writings at his website, MonkeysCorner or be his Facebook friend .