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January 26, 2014

How to Get What We Need, Because We Won’t Get What We Want this Year.

It’s only January but my New Year’s resolution is kaput.

That’s because the first thing on my list was to get a new body, starting with my butt.

My butt isn’t terrible, to be clear, ‘but’ (ha-ha) I could always use a new one, and preferably one that is up where it used to be instead of lagging behind (hilarious).

This blog is not about my butt. It’s about those New Year’s Resolutions we make that are just not going to happen.

Here are five things we are not going to get, and what we can do about it:

1. We want our “peak” yoga pose, now.

I am always interested in what people want from their yoga and particularly the poses they aim to do. There is yoga from the inside, where we learn about who we are, and there is yoga that is window dressing, the ego candy. Sometimes I achieve my peak pose for the year, and sometimes I don’t. I always learn more from the years when I fail, than when I get it.

I will never forget my year of Cobra pose, which I didn’t quite get, and instead I found the splits, Hanumanasana. Thank you, Universe, and I mean it. Frequently there is no “now” in yoga.

How to fix this: Make your “now” about the “how.”

 2. We want a new family and friends.

The people closest to us are supposed to love and support us. But it doesn’t always happen that way. In fact, they are often some of our biggest pains in the ass-ana.

Here is the thing: there are times we need to listen to those voices. They often show us where we need to grow. Instead of asking for a new family, try seeing what they have to say. Afterward if you determine someone is toxic, move on. Some people may just not be the best people in your life—even family! Not everyone is good for us. And there is nothing you can do about this. Nothing.

How to fix this: If the toxic people in your life do not make you better, then just let go.

3. We want a new body.

When the Universe gives you a belly, become a belly dancer. The important thing about change is to figure out what we can change, and then to live with the rest. Desire is the Universe’s change agent. For example, I cannot change my body overall, but I can make it stronger.

How to fix this: Change what you can, be content with the rest, or marry a plastic surgeon.

4. We want a new past.

Right? You know how many people tell me their first time was on a bed strewn with roses, with the partner they married? Me? Not so much. Oprah is a great guru on the past; she tells us we cannot change it. You cannot see what is in front of you if you are only looking out the rear view window.

How to fix this: Make peace with the past. It’s what made you who you are today.

5. We want a new life.

There was a time when I wanted a new life. I had everything I ever wanted: a husband, two children, and the best dog ever. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted to have my career back as a journalist. I did not understand my dharma was to be where I was. We may not have everything all at once, but you know what they say, we may have what we need.

How to fix this: Your dharma is for now, not forever. Go for less drama and more dharma.

We have 11 months left to make our resolutions more realistic so they can come true. This year, I’ve decided to forget my butt, and become a belly dancer instead, because Lord knows, the Universe gave me the goods.

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Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Dwilliams851/Flickr

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Michelle Marchildon  |  Contribution: 12,400