Sh*t Happens: We Have a Choice. ~ Robin Lee {Adult}

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Warning: Adult Language

Shit happens whether you want it to or not.

By “shit,” I don’t just mean your run of the mill dream-crushing, day-ruining, mood-wrecking, wine-warranting event sequences. I also mean “shit” like unbelievable joy, surprising fun and insurmountable learning experiences. Let’s get really clear about some facts, together.

Things happen. We can’t control that.

We have no power over the fact that the world exists beyond and outside of our perception of it. In fact, we are very small in comparison to the trajectory of all things. You know this, of course. Here’s the kicker though, we’ve got some power. We’ve got power in some seriously badass capabilities to take bad shit and make it wonderful. Now, you’re probably like “You’re crazy,” “Stop re-reading ‘The Alchemist’,” etc.

Let’s get real—our power is in our ability to choose.

Choices. Big stuff. Shit happens whether we want it to or not, but we have a choice. We choose how we react to things happening all around us. Truthfully, as much as we would all love to cling to this idea, things don’t happen “to us,” they just happen and we choose to throw an elaborate pity party for ourselves. I find this thought trajectory especially pert during the holiday season when, say, you are braving the aisles for a much sought after something and your foot is run over by a shopping cart while your ears are berated by a gaggle of tiny, screaming humans. (I might be speaking from experience.)

The fact of the matter is, there’s a choice here.

Do I curse Chris Kringle, Jack Frost and Rudolph all to hell? Do I retaliate by throwing some poorly-executed “Negative Nancy” remarks the way of the cart wielder? I could do that. I could do that and feel a thirty second satisfaction and then a subsequent and much more drawn out feeling of wanting to crawl in an anti-holiday hole.

There’s another choice. The choice to laugh. To say “Fuck it.” To say “YOLO” and twerk on out of there happy to have survived at all.

This is where the power lies, in creating a life that is less about holding onto feelings which don’t serve us—like brawling at Toys R’ Us—and more about letting go. I do not consider myself an expert or an authority on anything, really, but I can confidently say I know a thing or two about laughing and having fun. Frankly, those two activities are the ones that interest me the most.

I’ve been making the choice to pursue them above all else.

At it’s root, the “fuck it” choice is about non-attachment. It’s recognizing that we can’t control the world, as much as we would like to. There is so much freedom in accepting this and choosing to laugh. I could be really cliché and cheesy and mention that life is short, so party hard, but I won’t take you down that over-traveled road.

Okay, we took a short jaunt.

When we stop taking everything seriously, we realize how much humor there is in nearly every instance of life. We realize that life is actually just a series of choices. From birth to death, all we’re doing is choosing, no right or wrong. This isn’t any kind of encouragement to disregard your responsibilities and take off for the Islands with a crate of tequila.

It’s about accepting everything exactly as it is, where you are, and embracing it so you can find some joy.

Reflecting back on instances of frustration and anxiety, I can say with full commitment that I would much rather have been dancing. When shit happens, choose wisely.

Choose your bliss.

With that, I leave you with this:

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Photo: elephant journal archives

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Robin Lee

Robin Lee is a global nomad with a penchant for playfulness and punk rock. She spends her time practicing vinyasa, exploring rooftops and collecting tattoos. She currently resides by the sea in New Hampshire where she is completing her RYT-200. She also has an M.A. in Global Communications and is completing her level II Reiki certification. You can find more information on her website

Comments

2 Responses to “Sh*t Happens: We Have a Choice. ~ Robin Lee {Adult}”

  1. Michael says:

    Love it! I’m curious about any thoughts you might have on something:

    If ‘YOLO’ is the way to joy, then where does reincarnation play in? Or, put another, less-oddly-cryptic way: if we choose to say ‘fuck it’ and accept that we can’t control the world (which I basically agree with), then that actually dramatically increases our power to affect the world (since we become free to really choose; react->create), which is something you say you care about on your site.

    So how do you feel about making choices that have positive effects on others (like you sharing your writing)? Are you able to do that without getting caught in the outcomes of those choices? Or do you find that when you consciously want to help people it can get you caught in attachment, and thus limit your ability to do so?

    I find I’m pretty willing to say ‘fuck it’ and not give a fuck… But then I still want to get fucked and make babies (create evolution)… So that gets tough.

    Any tips?

    • Robin says:

      Boyfriend, lover, comrade- 'YOLO' is not the way to joy. At least not exclusively. Avoiding taking things, life, too seriously is absolutely imperative. We have some degree of control, and that is in our power to choose (our free will). 'Power' is an offensive word, wherein the ego seeks validation by creating a sense of hierarchy.There is no hierarchy because we are all the same. We are all bound inextricably by our humanity, and by our part in the collective consciousness that shapes this world. I think the ultimate thing to be understood, that of course I continue to work to understand, is that we must act with a disregard for the fruits of our actions. Even inaction is an act, therefore we must act, but we do it because we must and we must do it from a place of compassion (for ourselves, and therefore everything at the same time). Similarly, believing that you can 'help' someone is a slippery slope. Do you believe yourself to be an authority? Are you even an authority of your own life? Illusions of power distract us from breaking free. Try replacing 'help' with 'support' and 'love' and perhaps instead of 'power' we should be seeking 'gratitude'. NB: by sharing this, I had no presumptions about whether it would be perceived as good or bad or bullshit or beautiful. I wrote it quickly and explosively because it was something that had welled up inside of me, not because I had any illusions about asserting my 'power' to influence others. I would be equally as grateful if your comment consisted of telling me to fuck off. xoxox

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