March 17, 2014

3 Things Holding Us Back From Healing. ~ Heather Natoli


I love synchronicity.

I strongly feel that when synchronicity shows up in my life, the signs are validating that I am on the right path. I get embarrassingly excited when I come up with a new fabulous idea and then log onto Facebook, or flick on the radio and the exact topic is flooding my techie world.

I know a lot of people who feel the same way, but I often wonder if it frightens them as much as it does me, when the synchronicity is regarding something I need to change or let go of.

What is it about changing our position on an idea that is so scary? What is that resistance that comes up when we realize we need to shift our diet, lifestyle, etc. for a healthier life? What is so alluring about being sick? Why do we cling to that?

People are protective of their thoughts and feelings.

Lately, I’ve noticed that conversations I’ve been having aren’t really conversations at all, but a competition of who can stand their ground longer. Well, what is the point of talking in the first place if our minds are set on our ways. (I blame this somewhat on the framework of social media and everyone feeling they have a soapbox moment each time they speak, instead of approaching a conversation with an open, mutable mind.)

But what is so important about our ideas, or our diseases that keeps us clinging to them?

I was recently on a call with a dear friend and brilliant homeopath who brought up the issue of her clients not taking the remedies recommended by her. There are many times at my practice that people come in, pay for a case-taking, seem so on board with changing their lives, purchase the remedy and then come back a month later still holding on to it.

What’s up with that?

At this point, I like to open the dialogue:

What are you holding on to? What is holding you back?

The replies are surprising. When we suggest that someone takes responsibility and accountability for not allowing themselves to move forward, there are many varying responses.

Often, it begins with defensiveness or (my husband’s favourite) confabulation, but once we work through those walls, together, we discover the fears: fear of change, fear of getting worse, fear of letting go of the disease.

Why? Why would anyone be afraid to let go of something that makes their life worse?

The reasons can be as varying as the idiosyncrasies in each of us and some may never decide to take the step. We need to trust that others will make the decision to move forward when they are ready, but know that the acknowledgement that you are limiting yourself is the first step in this process.

Just as it takes courage to recognize that your “truth” may be wrong, it takes courage to expose your insecurities toward healing. There are some common themes that tend to hold us back from taking steps toward healing though.

1. We’ve come to identify with our suffering.

Our pain, our condition, our current state of dis-ease has become part of how we identify our core being—and possibly part of how others view us as well. It can be scary to let go of a piece of your identity. Who will you be when you let go of this? Try to see all of the positives and have faith that those who truly love you will be nothing but happy for you to move on.

2. Something about our condition makes us feel safe.

This is the other side of number one. Just because you have healed something about yourself, does not mean that you have to let go of everything that came with it. Perhaps deep down you enjoyed the sympathy and attention that came with your condition—in this next, healthier step of your life, you will be challenged to communicate with your loved ones and request love and attention when you need it in an honest, open-hearted way, and that is beautiful.

3. Moving forward means we may have to acknowledge something painful about ourself or our past.

A lot of times a traumatic event, or unhealthy patterns can cause us to get stuck in a cycle that leads to dis-ease. Holding yourself accountable for compensating or healthily revisiting and expressing an event that has been tucked away can provide a monumental healing effect before you even get to take a remedy.

It is exciting news when you realize you are in control of your health, when you realize you still have a chance to reach your highest potential. Instead of constantly projecting and protecting our fears and sickness, we need to become introspective and recognize the answers are inside us.

Once you unlock the key to who you are and how you got here, your healing can unfold infinitely.



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Editorial Assistant: Heather Hendry / Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photos: Heather Natoli 

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