She sits alone with pain and listens to her heart song.
Its echoes in her soul, subdued these days, unused to being heard over the din of her ordinary life.
It speaks of brilliant waterfalls that splash turquoise-hued rainbows over the world and make it new again.
It tells of enchanted forests, where life flourishes, if you know just where to look.
It whispers of fairies dancing in clearings untouched by human hand or eye.
It yearns for the places where sunlight cannot reach. Dappled beams through ancient branches, faces etched into trees, watching her, waiting for her life to start.
The shackles of the corporate world burn into her ankles, making her cry out.
Salty tears come in ocean waves. Tears she could drown in.
They were supposed to be temporary binds
To anchor her whilst she learned, which way to travel in this world,
But over time, they grew tighter,
Curbing the flow of magic to her heart, strangling the dreams of childhood innocence.
She deceives herself for a while.
Convinces her brain that this is a path, as good as any. Respectable.
Successful by someone’s definition.
She shines, because she always does. It’s expected.
Prizes she doesn’t care for, honours that cant hold her attention for long.
Tight prison walls of expectation hold her tightly with iron grip.
The cruel and painful grasp of accomplishment.
Her sparkle dims with every passing year, her soul retreating softly away.
She screams inside and begs someone to hear her.
No one does. Only she can save herself.
What happened to the girl, who dreamed of African plains
Stretching endless into the abyss?
Of the majesty of lions roaring in the darkness to dangers unknown,
Of the burning setting of the sun, lighting the world’s colours for all to see,
What happened to the girl, who longed for adventure?
For passion and frenzy in the heat of a moment,
Decisions felt with the heart, not made with the head.
What of the girl, whose words want to dance across pages?
Giving graceful glimpses of her soul to those who dare to read.
Sometimes the words bruise like stones as they tumble out of her mind
So intense that she can barely breathe until she has expelled them.
She wants the intensity.
She wants the pain because it shows her she can feel.
That she is alive.
She wants the life less ordinary. And she wants it to begin now.
After the sudden bereavement of my stepfather in January, I started to wake up to myself and the way I have been living my life. I realized that I have been denying my Heart Song for many years in an attempt to be successful and meet the expectations of everyone else. I am exploring what it means to listen to myself, and learning what it means to really follow my own path. I’m not there yet; awareness is the first step on my journey.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editorial Assistant: Jennifer Moore/ Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Monica Rodgers/ Pixoto