April 13, 2014

15 Sexy & Super Ways to Say Goodbye to Winter.




Recently, I wrote about things we should do for the Supermoon. Now, I want to start fresh, clean, and sexy—just in time for Summer.

Now that summer is on the horizon, I feel that it is appropriate to lay Old Man Winter down to rest with respect and dignity…to re-invigorate ourselves physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.

Here’s how I plan to bring in a hot, sexy summer. 15 Sexy and Super Ways to Say Goodbye to Winter:

1. Go skiing on any remaining snow. 

In your swimsuit. This is my personal favorite. Be careful not to biff it.

2. Start your garden.

Till up dirt. Add nutrients. Buy seeds (your favorite veggies and flowers!) and start them indoors. Hint: If you pour a little bit of dark beer on your seedlings, they will grow faster! Gotta start ’em early!

3. Eat ice cream. 

There is nothing better than a walk in the sunshine. To the ice cream shop. Cookie dough for me! Too bad dairy makes me fart.

4. Pack away sweaters and snow boots. 

Time for wool to go in the garage and linen and cotton to caress your hot, tan body! Time to bust out the denim cutoffs and tank tops.

5. Do a cleanse. 

My favorite is Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Adventure. Green and yummy things to make us all feel better! Eat tons of green phytonutrients and feel like a new seedling reaching for the sun.

6. Sun yourself. 

Like a bird. Outside. On a blanket in the sun. Be careful of lewd conduct tickets if you live in town.

7. Go to a Farmers’ Market. 

We all love Farmers’ Markets! Support local economies and locally-grown food. There are also a ton of weirdos that tend to show up to Farmers’ Markets, myself included. So people-watching in the sunshine is a must-do.

8. Get some new sandals. 

I just bought a new pair of silver Birkenstocks. They are rad. There’s something about slipping into a new pair of sandals or flip-flops that just feels…fresh and warm. .

9. Paint your nails. Even if you are a boy/man. 

I love to pick out a new nail polish every time I get paid and paint my nails a bright, unexpected hue of lime green, fuchsia, or turquoise. Ooh la la!

10. Go climbing. Or ride your bike around the town. Or something. 

It feels good to be out in the sun moving around with friends. Even if you’re floating the river with a sackful of Budweiser floating along beside you.

11. Get your hair cut. 

I love to start fresh every time the seasons change. I personally plan on getting a bowl-cut to go with my Birkenstocks.

12. Clean your car out. Or tune your bike. 

Get all the mud, dirt, and yucky things out of the car when the seasons change. Make sure the ‘ol bicycletta is ready to go. Spring cleaning isn’t just for the house!

13. Paint fences and re-stain decks. 

Make the spaces outside the house feel welcoming and inviting.

14. Join a running, mountain-biking, or hiking group. 

Or some kind of group that motivates its members to enjoy the out-of-doors. For me, it is going to be a women’s mountain biking team.

15. Finally, make love. Whatever that means to you.

All my lists have to end with this…even if it means making love to your bike seat in the sunshine. Because love-making is rad, even if it is on a bike.

Happy End of Winter! We made it through! Enjoy your denim cutoffs and ice cream.

Some weird tunes to get you stoked for summer:


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Bob Beer Guy Jul 22, 2014 12:06pm

Love the list! I especially love the one about the garden. I live in a big city, but we try to buy all organic stuff.

mundeleinpolish Jul 1, 2014 9:32pm

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Jenna Penielle Lyons

Jenna Penielle Lyons was born in Portales, New Mexico among sage and sand. Raised in Pocatello, Idaho among the black rock and juniper, she grew up wandering in cowboy boots, running, riding bikes, skiing, climbing, painting, and studying classical ballet. She is a scholar of English Literature, a poet, painter, photographer, musician, and outdoorswoman. She winters in Missoula and spends the summer working for Snake River Hotshots. She is a lover of mountain bluebirds & elephants, tea & good coffee, Carl Jung, Salvador Dali, skiing, climbing in the desert, yoga, harp music, and sagebrush. Her favorite foods are borscht and any combination of chocolate and cayenne pepper. Check out her work and follow her adventures at her website.