I feel a bit hung over from all of this full moon energy, not necessarily the dribble that has been creeping into my psyche for months now, but the actual witnessing of the lunar eclipse just the other night.
It was a testament to my own curiosity of why I am on this path that probably makes no sense to anyone but myself. It is a path of every damn emotion under the sun and moon and stars, and throw in my own relentless need to be the driver of my life right now. But am I really?
I have surrendered fruitlessly for the past weeks, since striking out on my own for a bit. I have no clue what is around the bend, and although it could give way to fear and doubt, I am completely okay with it. The serenity that I feel comes from this letting go, the sense that the Divine connection to Spirit has taken over and I am no longer in control and haven’t been for a long time.
I am in another major growth spurt, and probably my most powerful one to date. I have read countless articles, talked to many wise souls, been counseled from one side of this country to the other and have traveled distances for years to attain the understanding of my own free will and my own connection to the Divine.
There are no more definitions for me.
I am in this thing, and what used to be scary and worrisome and confusing, has given way to calmness, a hint of direction and plenty of surrender every single day. This is no picnic, as I recently told my man. It wasn’t easy stepping away, but it was necessary in every aspect of our connection to each other, and our purpose together and apart. I have a date with the Divine and my calling.
I still have my adult woman menopausal bratty moods, and my incoherent writing and words that only become clear in my own head and heart, but I will say this: I feel pretty damn good about listening to my intuition and knowing when to allow Spirit to guide me.
It pisses some people off, but I am not being bashful about what I need. I will continue to face all of my shadowed self throughout this lifetime, so I absolutely do not carry any more baggage into the next lifetime. I want to cleanse this archetypal karma once and for all.
The mala that surrounds my wrist (which I happened to serendipitously purchase at a health food store) accelerated my karmic cleansing of late. I know it sounds hokey and crazy, but I am a firm believer in the power of stones and gems and chakras that manifest in how we create our world. This karma mala jumped out at me during a search for some odd trail mix that I had heard about and wanted to try.
I glanced up, and boom, there it was with a glaring sign that said “karma beads and miracle stones.” I placed it in my grocery basket and the signs and symbols of the Divine connection have been pouring in for months now. There have been heavy angel messages prior to the mala, and I write every one down in my nightly journaling, but something about this beaded bracelet went straight to my gut and soul.
I ask for messages and signs all the time. I am a constantly curious person who has an indigo tribe of women, a sisterhood that watches each other’s backs and gives the other person kudos and applause when life is rolling along and in the flow. But we also don’t hold any words back when it comes to keeping each other in check. This is by far the most provocative group of women I have been blessed with, and I cherish them.
My own Divine connection is not one to upset the balance, but rather to continue to figure out the significance of my partnership and our place in the world through self-discovery and love. We meet people along our life’s path, put there for a reason and a lesson, showing us ways in which we need to change and learn and accept.
For the sake of my own calling in life I had to vagabond for a spell, to reap the wisdom of what those who have surrounded me in recent years have taught me.
My intuition has been screaming about it for too long, and I took the leap. The Divine has placed me in people’s lives, and they have been placed in mine. These contracts have been beginnings and endings and testaments to why I was with so and so, and who continues to show up in my life in patterns that are unfinished mirrors of my own existence. It is that simple.
The only path to love is through who we meet, who we are to do soul business with, and how our own evolution takes crazy twists and turns when we least expect it. It’s as if Mother Nature holds the key to the Land of Oz, which takes us on the real path to our eternal soul home. The yellow brick road to get there is full of archetypes and obstacles and emotions, and colors our world with those characters we meet to teach us, yet the journey is the most worthwhile experience of why we are here to have our own date with the Divine.
There is no holding back any more. Our lives are too precious and fragile to continually edit what we feel, what we need, and who we are.
A recent passing of an old friend of mine made things even more pronounced for me. She was the sweetest soul, yet struggled with her own demons and depression. What appeared to be a constant glossy outwardly self was masked in pain and suffering inwardly. Not a single solitary person had a clue what was going on. Maybe her family did, or her very best friend, but those of us who knew her from the outside and perhaps shared happy moments and smiles can only scratch our heads as to why she felt it was her time to go. She chose to be in peace and end a lifetime of bouncing between trying to be something she was not, something she tried to be, and over pleasing those who might have needed her. We’ll never know. We can never understand. But her Divine connection knows, and always did.
There are no answers to what the Divine has planned for us. We have to remain open to our path, our calling, the love in our hearts, and where it all takes us. What I do know is I have a passion, a purpose, an incredible amount of gratitude for those in my life, those I have been blessed to share space and time with, and a significant partnership that continues to evolve and grow in parallel ways, as our date with the Divine is so sacred right now. He knows. He gets it.
Tell someone you love them, every single day. Even better, show your love. It makes a difference and it is real, no matter who it is or what struggles they portray to the world or to themselves. Go on your own personal date with the Great Spirit, and feel just how awesome it is to continue to change and grow and be part of all that is. There really is no place like home.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editor: Travis May