How Making Love Matters & Sex is Easy. ~ Edith Lazenby

Via Edie Lazenby
on Apr 22, 2014
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“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.” ~ Madame de Stael quotes

 Desire is a slippery fish.

We cannot touch it and yet is ravishes us. Desire makes need seem bland. Need is responsible. Need speaks clearly. Needs must always be met.

Desire sizzles in our loins and dances in our heart. Desire lights a fire inside and brings passion to our tongues. Desire loves desire and lives beyond reason.

In heterosexual relationships the man desires the woman and will often do whatever it  takes, especially when the man is still more of a boy.

A woman, on the other hand, wants to be desired often and feeds her passion in feeling the desire of a man. This dynamic brings her desire to life.

Is this sexist? Or is this the way of men and women?

I believe in equal rights. I also know as a woman I don’t want to be treated like one of the guys. I like to look my best. I like to be noticed by men, especially when there is already a foundation to make my love come alive. And I like to feel sexy.

I have an ongoing conversation with one of my friends who believes men and women aren’t wired differently. After teaching small children I learned by watching them and working with them that the energy of boys is so different than that of girls.

Men and women, boys and girls, we are different; our hormones are different. Our needs are different.

Now I like a good roll in the hay as much as the next person and like any good alcoholic, have had my share of one night stands. But I did not get a lot out of them. I crave the connection, the emotional and energetic connection.

The act of sex is easy.

Making love is not. Making love asks me to be completely open and vulnerable and present in all ways. Making love asks me to reveal how I am and who I am. The act of sex is easy. Dogs have shown us that.

So my desire lives in being desired. This quote rang true for me. And though I enjoy sex it is actually making love that draws me into someone’s arms.


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About Edie Lazenby

Edith Lazenby's first love is poetry. Her second is yoga. Life unrolls in ways she could have never have imagined. She loves to love and live life daringly. Leap and the net will appear is how the saying goes but they don't tell you what to do after it disappears. Edith lives in Baltimore with her cat, Cucumber. She works all the time, it seems, these days. Life is good. Blessings are many.


3 Responses to “How Making Love Matters & Sex is Easy. ~ Edith Lazenby”

  1. sluczaj says:

    I am most definitely a woman and I can't fathom how I could desire to *be* desired rather than just desiring what/who I desire. It seems abstract, I just can't imagine it!
    I am not quite sure what this point, about desiring to be desired, has to do with the distinction between having sex and making love that you draw here… making love means being desired rather than desiring..? If a woman desires directly it must be 'just' sex…? If a man desires directly, it must be 'just' sex…? Or am I missing the point completely?!

  2. laurakutney says:

    I am a woman and I definitely think that men want to be desired just as much as a woman does. I guess I am confused about a young man doing anything it takes to satisfy a woman in bed. In my experience the opposite is true. A mature and well read lover is the way to go in my book.

    I guess each and every one of us have had a unique experience as lovers.

    Thanks for your words. Very interesting viewpoint to learn about.

  3. @CaroSaliba says:

    This article does not reflects my thoughts and desires as a woman…
    The arguments given here are generalizations… they are too vague and flimsy in my opinion.
    Specifically why – as a reader, would I like another person projections of their opinion (because at the end of the day these are mere opinions) on what I am supposed to be, feel, want, need, or desire, etc? and excluding me if my life doesn't correspond to their (polarized) view of the world?
    I love the way I desire a man, I like being desired and I hope that my partner appreciates the way I desire him as much I appreciate his desire to me… What's wrong with that? Am I less of a woman for that?
    And what's with the nuances the writer was trying to make about sex, making love and dogs?
    I don't think that because we are different (… and people are different, and circumstances are different) that it gives the right to one individual to dictate how we ought to be in our intimacy and our sex drive.

    With all due respect, I think it's a really weak article on the level of ideas and not very well written either.