April 10, 2014

I Did Not Marry Superman (Thank God). 5 Characteristics of a Non-Perfect Guy. ~ Yaisa Nio

perfect guy cartoon wikihow

[Ed. note: Check out the inspiration for this piece too! I Married Superman: 10 Characteristics of a Quality Guy.]

A quick search on the internet gives us countless results on what the perfect guy is like.

How to become the perfect man, tips on how to find him, blogs bragging about how intelligent, funny, loving, good looking their perfect guy is. They call him Superman, or more traditionally, the White Knight.

Articles slobbering about how spiritually beautiful the relationship is, how amazing he makes them feel and more of those statements that, most of the time, frankly, make me want to reverse my digestive process.

I don’t believe them for one minute. Oh for sure, he may well possess all the fantastic personality traits and good looks they are writing about but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t also have dozens of non-super hero characteristics, like a hideous morning breath or a porn addiction.

There is no such thing as a perfect man (or woman, for that matter).

My guy is such a non-perfect guy and here’s why:

1. He’s not much of an academic or an intellectual.

I am. We don’t need two of those in the house. He’s the practical one and it balances out great. Sometimes we have long discussions whereby I get to explain all the useless things I learned at University.

He, on the other hand, explains to me how to catch fish, how to skin a kangaroo tail and how to fix a car with duct tape and tie wraps. With him, I’ll survive anything, anywhere.

2. He’s not ambitious (by today’s societal standard, that is).

I am. And we certainly don’t need two of those in the house. I’ve always needed challenges, promotion opportunities, wanted prospect for more responsibilities, growth, new projects, change, development. He’s happy doing the same job for several years. He likes to get settled into a routine that makes him feel comfortable and on top of things.

And together, it’s a perfect fit. He keeps me down to earth, reasonable, stops me from overloading myself. I kick him in the ass every now and then, motivate him to dare try something new, something he didn’t know he had in him.

3. His manners and knowledge of etiquette leave a lot to be desired.

He will sometimes start eating before everybody is served. But that’s because you cannot (I repeat, cannot) ask an Italian to let his pasta carbonara cool down. He would rather eat a fried maggot than eat cold pasta. Literally.

But whether he’s eating with his elbow on the table, whether he’s gesticulating with his fork or whether he’s licking his knife, when he’s eating, it’s contagious. The sounds of enjoyment, the hands waving enthusiastically, the rolling of the eyes as if he’s listening to the most beautiful opera by Puccini…

They are all expressions of pure delight and all one wants to do when witnessing this is to dig in and have more of that fresh, home made pasta.

4. His taste for clothes and shoes is atrocious.

Really. Sometimes it’s so bad I can only laugh about it. To be honest, this is something I have tried to change and will keep on trying ever since we met.

I had to use all my begging and bargaining skills to get him to wear a decent pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, a jacket and normal shoes for our wedding party. And I would not have succeeded if it wasn’t for the help of a friend who lent him the shoes and the jacket and gave his masculine opinion on the outfit.

My man would rather eat cold pasta than spend more than 30 dollars on clothes to look fashionable. That’s how terrible it is.

5. He hardly tells me he loves me.

He doesn’t need to, because I know he does. I can taste it in the fresh juices he presses for me in the morning or in the birthday cake he made last month. I can feel it in his touch when his hand is on my thigh while we’re watching TV on the couch. I can hear it in his voice when he asks me desperately what I want for Christmas because he can’t think of anything.

I can see it when I come home from work and the entire house has been cleaned, the laundry is done and dinner is waiting for me including a fresh strawberry-rum cocktail. I can smell it on his skin when he cuddles up to me in bed and starts snoring within 30 seconds.

He may not say it often but when he does say the L word, it really means something and it comes from the bottom of his heart.

There is nothing in the world that I want more than being this with non-perfect guy.

It’s simply perfect as it is.

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

~ Bob Marley


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Editor: Travis May

Photos: Wikimedia Commons and Wikimedia Commons


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