The terms “masculine” and “feminine” can be tricky to use.

They are undefinable in a lot of ways and most people have experienced wounding around them.

I do not claim to know what these terms mean but I would like to catalyze a conversation about them.

At the core of everyone, at our essence, we seem to be androgynous pure beings that are both masculine and feminine, and neither at the same time. Our souls cannot be labeled masculine or feminine because our souls are our closest connection to the Source; the consciousness from which we were formed, and the consciousness we dissolve back into when we die.

So in essence, we are one.

There is also another dance to our existence on this planet and this is where I want to get some momentum moving in this discussion. In most creation stories, polarity was birthed here on this planet and these energies of polarity are masculine and feminine.

They are Shiva and Shakti.

They are Adam and Eve.

This does not mean that if I am a male-bodied person I have to be masculine, or if I am a female-bodied person I have to be feminine. It simply means that there are two polarities of energy at play within us and around us and for lack of better terms, I am going to call them masculine and feminine.

I am imagining that each person has a different experience of these energies in and around their body because we all have different variations of masculine and feminine energy. So now I have laid some groundwork for further exploration in relation to my experience. My experience, in my body, in my soul’s work, and in this western culture.

I own my experience. I’m curious about others—how they differ and how they are similar.

Oftentimes in our culture, whether we are men, women, or don’t identify on the gender binary, we value the giving/offering that is quantifiable and tangible over the giving/offering that is hard to quantify or capture. This bothers me.

I grieve this.

I get angry.

I feel the pain with this reality because the way I am and the way I give has never been quantifiable.

The only time I can remember it being quantifiable was when I wasn’t being true to myself. When I was being a self-sacrificial martyr who only gave out of an insecurity that I wasn’t enough. I gave out of a perception of lack. I gave to try to fit in with the culture’s standards of productivity. I gave in this way and was burnt out quickly.

Now that I feel big and expansive, that way of being is old news.

I don’t play that role anymore and I don’t want to. It is too small for me now. I now have the capacity to give so much more!  And the people around me feel it—they are inspired!

Some are scared, but only scared out of their inspiration to live in their own purpose.

I have invited someone to realize their purpose and decide to travel abroad.

I have helped someone come up with a brilliant idea that was the missing piece to their book.

I have catalyzed multiple heart breaks that have opened people to deeper self-love.

I have triggered the restrictive voices that have loosened someone into more ease with the greater voice within.

I have sent off dying souls into the Spirit World to be welcomed by their Spirit Family. I have even talked to a tree and delivered a message on its behalf for an initiated crone friend.

I have listened, inspired, and encouraged people into their power within, their ultimate desire, their Soul’s purpose, and reason for living!

I give in so many ways just by being.

I have done this by doing the deep work to live in my purpose, be present, listen deeply, live in my integrity, channel the energy from the source through me, and offer what pours through to those around me.

This is some valuable stuff. I may even argue that it’s as valuable as a ruby itself. I feel like a geyser plugged into the earth, channeling so much giving because I am receiving from the greater source of spirit. In this way, receiving is the bottom line to giving/offering.

I am plugged in.

I am plugged into something greater than us and give from this place!

I feel abundant.

I feel alive.

I feel rich as all get out—but why am I not financially rich? Why does this go unrecognized?

Is it because the way I give is unquantifiable?

What do we value in our market economy?

Are most of us imprinted by patriarchal consumerist culture?

Is this way of being and living selfish? We may call it selfish, but aren’t most of us deeply hungry for it?

After being a catalyst for a man, inspiring him, and breaking him open to deep love—to the point that he was in love—he began to idealize me. He became grasping towards me so I set a firm boundary with him. His reaction to this boundary was persuasiveness, anger, disrespect, and an insulting comment implying that I was selfish.

Ouch. Was this because I didn’t want to be with him in a sexual relationship?

But I inspired him. I was present with him in the love of the goddess. Wasn’t that enough? Wasn’t that a gift in itself? I knew I didn’t owe him anything. What was this projection all about? What was this neediness all about? I’m pretty sure his reaction came from the wound of our production-oriented culture.

This hate was directed at the feminine polarity of existence because it cannot be captured, contained, quantified, or spontaneously produced. This hate feeds rape culture and it has me feeling disgust, sadness, and anger.

This is a deep wound and I cannot heal it alone.

When we don’t acknowledge our own wholeness—meaning all of the vast qualities within our own being (light and dark)—we unconsciously react and seek outwardly from our inner place of lack. We can become desperate and grasping. We idealize or become breeders of hate.

In our culture, the feminine polarity of existence is largely taboo, hidden, and unacknowledged. Thus, a violence against the feminine is taking place and people are taking from her without due respect.

Eros love and goddess love are closely related to the love that flows from the feminine. Love at its essence cannot be captured. When are we going to get over this?! When we truly embody love. When we become whole in ourselves; we are undefinable, vast, multidimensional beings.

It hurts to hear that people may project selfishness onto those who have truly come into their wholeness. I can honestly say from my experience that I feel the least “selfish” I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel this way because my soul is running the show and my ego is in the back seat.

My roles, identities and insecurities do not guide my existence.

The core of my integrity guides my existence. I listen, and follow along. I am just here to let whatever wants to move through me, move through me, and that is that. I channel and I channel for a greater cause; for something much, much larger than me. Isn’t this valuable beyond measure!? Where is the money to show for it? If money is energy then I am one rich badass!

In our culture, the masculine polarity of existence tends to be quantifiable and is about doing; it is linear and has structure. The feminine polarity of existence tends to be more abstract, circular and creative; it’s about being and it’s about receptivity to love.

Why aren’t we honoring both?

Where is the balance?

Where is the sustainability in our current way of honoring the masculine polarity over the feminine polarity?

I know the Earth doesn’t get it either. The energy on this planet feels completely lopsided. Do you feel it too? Both of these polarities are necessary and I want to support this marriage. I want change and I want our economy to support it.

I deserve just as much money and credit as someone in the marketing world of productivity and so do you.

I am a fully feminine fierce woman.

I am in my purpose.

I am ripe.

I am in love with God.

I am creative, and I am flowing, dammit!

What I bring is of great value that cannot be measured.

You can’t put a price tag on that.

Let’s bring balance back into the equation. Let’s start a movement, a feminine revolution! A revolution of remembering and honoring both polarities. Of honoring and supporting this marriage of the two.

If you are an artist, creative, intuitive, healer, muse, shaman, woman, mother, animal, Earth guardian, or Earth itself, you may get what I am saying. If you are a human, you will get what I am saying on some level—you are living in it!

 “Life is a woman, a beautiful sorceress seducing our hearts, beguiling our spirits, flooding our being with promises. Life is a woman who with pleasure takes the human heart as a lover but rejects it as a husband. Life is a harlot, but she is beautiful. Whoever sees her harlotry abhors her beauty.” – Kahlil Gibran

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Apprentice Editor: Kim Haas / Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Harold Bonacquist/Pixoto/Author photo: Gail Margolis