Have you ever seen a child in the midst of wonderment?
Maybe you’ve seen the magic in their eyes as they connect the dots, completely captivated in the moment. It’s beautiful to watch, you can’t help but share their enthusiasm. You find yourself smiling, because it stirs familiar feelings and you know exactly what they’re experiencing.
I am that child, full of excitement and awe. I’ve captured the most beautiful treasure and all I want to do is explore it and learn as much as I can about it.
The moment I found it, I instinctively knew its worth. I was keenly aware of my newfound responsibility to honor and protect this treasure.
This treasure I speak of, the one that has my heart bursting with happiness, is me. I found myself.
The past few months have been emotionally chaotic for me.
I felt like I was trapped on a roller coaster that had no end. I was continually questioning my worth, and my self-loathing was at an all-time high. I didn’t want to take the blame for anything and this created a lot of tension between me and my loved ones. I was focused on false expectations and ideas of how those around me should change. I was living in my own self-created hell and I didn’t know how to escape.
This past Saturday, I felt the change start to take shape.
I started the day off with a workout outdoors. I was jogging down a muddy, wet and slippery hill.
With each step I took, my mind said, Slow down. It criticized me and warned, You’re going to fall. Aren’t you scared of hurting yourself?
That was the moment I realized it was my mind holding me back, lying to me and forcing me to live in that self-created hell.
For the first time in a very long time, my true self, my life force defended me against my mind, speaking clearly and calmly. It said, You can do it. What’s the worst that could happen? If you fall, you can pick yourself back up. You can always pick yourself back up.
Rain followed after that jog. It rained throughout the day, and poured all night long.
The rain was a metaphorical message, for me to cleanse myself and begin anew. I believe the universe always has something to say; it’s simply waiting for us to truly listen.
This is what I heard:
When you hit a hard time in life and your heart is hurt, forgive yourself for hurting. Everything is okay. Wallowing in guilt and blame when you’re down will hold you back and keep you from moving forward.
Let go of fear and judgment.
Fear is a component of all negative emotions. It keeps us detained in our own personal hell. Judgment is created in the mind , often restricting our personal growth. Let go of what the mind is critical and fearful of, because most likely it is demonstrating an unrealistic perspective of things.
Live in the moment.
This life is just a story we’re creating. Right now, all we truly have is this moment. When we feel anxious and our focus is scattered, we can center ourselves. Feel the gentle tips of your fingers or the soft waves of your hair.
Take pleasure in the task at hand.
Indulge in the moment fully and let the world and worry around you disappear.
Take pause before reacting.
Situations are left powerless when we refuse to submit to them with a negative reaction. This isn’t always an easy task, especially when it’s in our nature to react without hesitation. In the moment, we can step back and observe the situation. We can create an opportunity to use our energy wisely, in ways that won’t leave us angry or upset.
And above all…
Love and respect yourself unconditionally and endlessly.
Love is all you ever need, and the only love you need lives inside of you. It has been there all along and it will never leave you, nor forsake you. If we love ourselves, we will respect ourselves and take pride in who we are, always.
I’m discovering myself for the first time.
I was searching outside for so long, when all I’ve ever needed has been here all along. I’m so excited to grow and learn all that I have to offer myself.
I’m so full of life and love. All I want to do is share it unconditionally.
The rain came and it washed away all that was keeping me trapped. The path presented itself to me in it’s own way and in it’s own time.
Live and let live.
Love fully, deeply, and endlessly.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Apprentice Editor: Lauren Savory / Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Courtesy of the author