May 1, 2014

A Reminder for Those Days When You Get Caught Up in the Bullsh*t. ~ Erika Ward

Photo: Maybelle Blossom Dumlao-Sevillena

Warning: F-bombs straight ahead.

It’s time for me to pull you out of the water.

Dear Erika,

I’m sorry you’re swimming in the infested waters of egoic fear. It’s murky and uncomfortably cold in there, huh? Well, there’s clearly a reason you took the dive. Found it yet? Okay, cool—you did or you didn’t. Either way, feel however you’re feeling. Cry, scream, thrash around a bit. Let it out.

This place is seductive and while it may be socially acceptable, it will ultimately leave you drowning in its contagious filth.

So, here goes.

Before we catch a full on case of self-consciousness, neediness, lack, comparison, desperation and the I-have-to-figure-it-all-out-right-now’s, remember…

You are just an energetic being, on a planet, where everything is made up of energy. All visible living beings (our family! friends! favorite tree!) are made up of energy. All (mostly) invisible spirit beings are made up of energy. Every planet is made up of energy.

Everything… is just… energy.

Unfocus your eyes a bit. See this energy. You can see it again! Fun, right?

You know how in school they teach you about certain planets that experienced atmospheric changes over time and how over the course of light-years (or whatever) some planets completely transformed and/or exploded? Well, that is what is happening on Earth. Right now! It always has been! Forever! Because well, duh, Earth is a planet, in a solar system, in a unfathomably extensive universe.

Do you know how those other planets experienced transformation?

It took place on an energetic level.

Do you know how Earth is experiencing transformation?

On an energetic level.

Now this is the bit to circle-highlight-heart shaped Post-it note to the forefront of your mind:

You, Erika, are part of that energy.

You are a small part of what will change, of what actually does the changing for an entire planet.

You are a worker bee, one of millions and billions and trillions of worker bees.

You are a molecule, a sparkle, a unique electric expression of star-stuff.


That is what you are.

That is all you are.

That is why you are here.

You are elements and minerals and lots of science-y words you don’t really know (because you spent more time chain-smoking at the Athenian diner than in class—it’s cool, I forgive you!), but the words themselves aren’t as important as the essence of what I’m reminding you of here.

You and everyone you know (and don’t know) are here because of and for the evolution of Earth. Whether or not you want to be—you are a part of this transformation.

It’s happening with your life. It’s happening with every single person’s life!

The push and pull between lightness and dark?

The energetic exchanges between beings?

The struggles, fights, wars that are going on between egos and souls?

Your own personal growth??

That is the stuff that is moving along the transformation of this whole fucking planet.


Right now I know what you’re thinking, Erika.

“Um, OK. That’s depressing and full of holes. You’re not a scientist and you’re talking about stuff you don’t have a degree in, and maybe you should edit this down a bit because it sounds kinda repetitive but, whatever. More importantly, what you’re saying is that all of the things I care and worry about in my life don’t actually matter?”

No! They do matter, just not the way you think they do. They matter but they’re not all that matters. These things you value are temporary. These things you value are on purpose and these things, like you, are only limited by your own thinking, judgments and beliefs.

My aim in reminding you of this greater truth isn’t so you feel insignificant; it’s quite the opposite. My aim in reminding you of this is so you can expand your vision a bit to see that…

You are significant.

You are important.

You have a purpose, jobs to do, things and people to believe in and connect with, something that you are supposed to be giving to the world.

And as you mentioned, there are things you want. Things your soul deeply wants. They are the things you’ve always desired—really, truly desired. Not just the things your parents or some celebrity or the cool kids told you that you should want. The things that make you want to jump up and down with the unfiltered excitement of a toddler or a puppy with a brand new toy.

Those things you want? They want you too because otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Those things you want are why you’re here.

So, back to all your worries and anxieties.

All your insecurities and your plans of overcompensating for them? All your fears of missing out and the subsequent manipulative chess games where you attempt to outsmart God? They’re so utterly gross and exhausting, right? And ugh, when you’re all wrapped up in your insecurities it feels like there’s no other way—no other version. It feels like this is just reality—this is just the way it is.

That is not the truth. It only seems like this is your reality because you’re choosing it as so. Your reality is what you choose to see. Open your eyes. Wake up! I’d like for you to step out of that stiflingly stale paradigm pool.

Now, please.

You are more than that. You are part of a big ethereal picture.

Every time you say “Okay, fine, I’m in! I give up! I surrender! I will relax finally! I will allow for change, I will let go, I will be the me that feels the best, the truest, the freest, the happiest. Ahhhh I can’t do all this hard work anymore!!!”

Every time you reach that point, remember: you are not only helping yourself, you are helping everything and everyone everywhere.

So, I know you’re probably wondering what you should do now, right? Of course you are, you adorable little star-child, you.

Here are some alternatives to skinny-dipping off the low-vibe coast:

1. Wake up from your nightmare—read the above.
2. Be present. Be aware of and acknowledge everything that you can around you.
3. Be compassionate and kind to others. Smell their fear but don’t swallow it.
4. Hug and kiss and love the people you love. Appreciate their uniqueness.
5. Find things to do that excite you so much you’d jump out of bed at 6:00 a.m. to do them.
6. Taste your food—actually taste it. Turn off the TV, tear your eyes away from the blinding screen and give your attention to what you’re eating.
7. Hear and see what people say and do—take it in with every one of your senses;especially the sixth one.
8. Ask for a sign, believe you will see one. Watch the magic—you know it’s always there.
9. Learn about everything you’re curious to learn about.
10. Surround yourself with beautiful works of art. Know it’s all art.
11. Flit around like a pixie.
12. Experience this life while you have this body.
13. Love this body while you have this body. Listen to what it tells you—it’s speaking right to you.
14. Take every seemingly little moment and feel it; fully.
15. Be so very grateful for it all because that energy will follow you around like an all-enveloping perfume.

And then always—yes, there is more!

* Pay attention to what pulls on the invisible threads of your heart.
* Trust your intuition when it hits you, right there in the gut.
* Pray to the greater intelligence that knows more than you do.
* Ask for guidance from your angels. Believe in your angels.They’re right there with you.
* Stay in the higher vibration of openness, honesty, acceptance and love. It is your choice.
* Know that you are being directed to the places where you need to go.

Do all of this for yourself, but also do it for, like, the good of the whole fucking world, you know?

Love always,

Your best self

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Apprentice Editor: Alicia Wozniak/Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Pixoto / Maybelle Blossom Dumlao-Sevillena

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