We all have gone through at least one “green is the colour of envy” phase in our lifetimes.
As a child, we may have been jealous of other siblings or friends.
As an adolescent, we may have gotten jealous when friends decided that they wanted to hang out with someone else.
As adults, we’ve likely experienced jealousy in dating and relationship scenarios—for instance, when an ex has moved forward and we see them for the first time giving their affection to another person.
So why is the colour of jealousy also the colour of the heart chakra? Why must the two be associated with what we see and perceive as love?
Do the two really have anything in common?
Or does love begin to unfold when we surpass this barrier in relationships and allow the inner heart chakra to open up to a true and selfless kind of love?
“A competent and self confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” ~ Robert. A. Heinlein
There is a common perception that yogis (like myself), Buddhists, and spiritual advocates who work with self growth are somehow immune to such thoughts and feelings. But jealousy is a karmic thing to work through. It stems from insecurity that we are somehow not as competent, beautiful, strong, or worthy as another person.
It is normal to want to be rid of the situation that is staring us in the face and making us uncomfortable. But instead of running or fighting the situation we need to reflect inward at our own insecurities. We need to look at jealousy as a growth experience and accept the challenge the universe has given us.
Begin With You
There is something inside yourself you need to address.
Jealousy doesn’t really have anything to do with the other person, it is an internal insecurity, so start by doing things that make you feel good.
Try something new you’ve always wanted to do but have been to nervous to try, a new class such as yoga or dance. Eat healthy, people often minimize the importance of a good well rounded diet and how it affects everything else in your life.
If the sustenance you’re providing yourself is (excuse my language) crap, how can you expect to feel any different?
Take time in your life to focus on you, to develop your strengths, and learn about you. Reflect on why you are feeling this way about another person—if you’re jealous because they have or are doing something you wish you could do, just make the choice to go out and do it too!
Meditate. Use your jealousy to guide you through growth.
Remember that there is no one more or less important than you
Your jealousy is stemming from a feeling of being ‘less than’ another person in some way. You are worthy of love, infinite love, just as much as anyone else.
Talk to the person in question and show them compassion; remember that they, too have insecurities—and probably some you can relate to!
But also give yourself loving kindness. Sometimes we ignore our own need for loving kindness towards ourselves. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies, beating ourselves up over things which don’t really matter. Instead, we can make the choice to give ourselves love and celebrate the wonderful people that we are.
Reflect on the past
Discover where this is coming from—is it a past insecurity?
Realize that this person and situation is different than a past one. Just because someone broke your heart before, it doesn’t mean it will happen with everyone.
Feel what you’re feeling and then let it pass. Accept that this is a part of who you are in this moment.
Realizing that you are, in fact, jealous (and that it is okay to feel this) is the most important and crucial part of this entire process.
As you have probably noticed, most of these tips have to do with you, so it’s time to stop blaming the other person you are jealous about and work toward being happy.
Embrace the unique little snowflake you are and live the life you want.
When there is true, unconditional, selfless love inside ourselves, jealousy is less likely to find a way to peek its head into our lives.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Apprentice Editor: Amani Omejer / Editor: Renée Picard
Photo: Alyssa Cox