Dating younger Women, Dating older Men.
“I wouldn’t date a woman above 30.”
“I wouldn’t date a man younger than me.”
The other day I was watching…youtube? And a commercial came on for…I don’t know. But it was something to do with Rob Lowe and sharks.
Admittedly, Rob looks like he’s 30, and he’s probably close to twice that. Below him (looking all handsome and heroic), kneeling at his feet, was your typical “hot woman.” But because of his infamous ability to never age, I thought about her age. She was probably 25, at most. Young enough to be his daughter, for sure.
And yet…this is normal. Most of the time, most of us don’t give such pairing (especially in Hollywood) a second thought.
I just turned 40. I’m incredibly hot, handsome, and young-looking (if you believe me). And I often date women…girls who are 25, 28, sometimes younger. I don’t like to date younger than 24, unless she’s really mature. I don’t like to date older than 30, partially because many such women are expecting something more serious, and I don’t want to burn out their biological clock, and I work all the time, and having a commitment-light, less-serious relationship has been attractive to me. I’m not making excuses. I get made fun of for dating younger, and mea culpa, baby.
But it’s interesting. Older women, too, love to date younger men. If you don’t believe me, just search the web, or even elephant journal. Google: “One of the poorest countries on earth, Gambia, is a hotbed for female sex tourism. Wealthy older European woman seek out young African men. It’s the country’s main attraction.”
On the other hand, women and men love to casually agree that we men mature slower. Most 30 and younger female friends of mine wouldn’t consider dating younger than them.
I think about this, because I pride myself in ethical, genuine relationships, even if they’re short term. And I wonder why my Tinder setting is 24 – 29. My conclusion, for now, is that dating younger is easier. Dating older than 25 helps ensure that they’ve been through some challenges, some ups and downs, some maturity. They’re still young and busy enough to leave me alone if I want to work all the time. But the fact that I wouldn’t consider dating someone my own age does bother me, a bit. It’s not that I don’t find women my age beautiful, or attractive. I do. Perhaps I’m scared of commitment (you think?!).
In any case, this week, instead of spouting off about some wisdom, I figured I’d mea culpa, and open up, in the hope that we could have a…mature discussion about dating, and age, and ageism. Please leave a mindful comment here about your own experience, and learning moments.
“The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.” ~ H.L. Mencken
Yours in the Vision of an Enlightened Society,
This went viral last week. I didn’t love it, but it’s food for thought, and it has elements of truth to both (stay tuned for the women on men chart at the end that most folks missed when this went viral).