August 14, 2014

“It’s Too Hot in Hot Yoga Class,” she says. ~ Michael Mark {Poem}


Student: It’s too hot in hot yoga class.

Teacher: It’s actually Warm Yoga

and it’s 82 degrees. Hot Yoga is usually 



Student: I’m sweaty. I never sweat

in my Hot Yoga class.

Look, I’m practically sticky!

Speaking of which—and I’m not a complainer—

your sticky mats aren’t sticky at all.

They’re slippery mats

 And you have too many people in class. I like

room to move.

 What is the thing painted on the wall? It’s weird,

like a wild animal.


Teacher: They are the Chakras.


Student: Too many colors.

Where I come from we’d think

that’s scary and not peaceful.

Why did you talk a different language?


Teacher: Those are the name of the poses in Sanskrit.


Student: It was disturbing—at least it distracted

me from the music. We’re American. We should

be proud of our language and our music.

I know we’re in California and all but still.

 If I come back can we put on American music?

Country would get us moving.


Teacher: Well..


Student: You don’t dance at all in class?

No getting down, huh?

And what about iced-chai breaks—you said

in class we could take some sips of water

but don’t you think lattes are more

modern? Yoga’s modern, hip.

 I think if Jesus were alive today doing yoga

he’d have us all take a few breaks for lattes

and some Miranda Lambert.


Yoga shouldn’t be so quiet and deep and

all yoga-y.


Teacher:  Om.


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Editor: Travis May

Photo: Pixoto/David Lackey



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Barbara Aug 18, 2014 1:56pm

As always, Michael Mark, your poem brought me a smile! On the other side of the spectrum, I had a student call me a "Guru" the other day. Oh the misconceptions abound…

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Michael Mark

Michael Mark bows to all his Teachers. He is a hospice volunteer and long distance walker. His poetry has been published in Red Booth Review,Every Day Poets, Scapegoat, Camel Saloon, OutsideIn Magazine, The Thing Itself, Silver Birch Press, elephant journal, The New Verse News, Word Soup End Hunger and other nice places. He invites you to follow him on @michaelgrow so he can follow you, in case he gets lost.