September 15, 2014

A Letter To My Child, The Bully. ~ Robert Pistor

bullying, bully

After a cruel ACS ice bucket challenge prank (video see here {trigger warning: deeply upsetting film}) was played on an autistic child, we, as parents, need to teach our children how to love broadly.

This is our service as parents and as human beings.

We must empathize with those who are more vulnerable and challenged than us. In the end, it’s easy to love those who are close to us. But to love all, unconditionally, and to provide a service from a place of genuine compassion; that is what makes us unique; that is what makes us righteous.

Let’s break the cycle and show our children how to do this.

Dear Child,

You won’t remember this, but there were sacrifices made for your existence. All with the vision that you’d grow up to be magnificent.

A deliberate shower of love and support was planned as we awaited your arrival.We were committed to make a genuine investment in your physical and mental development. And then you arrived….

You were born with a wide eyed innocence; a gentle neediness. You were made of a pure and simple love.

In our eyes, you were so unique and special. You gave us purpose. We felt fulfilled….

As you grew, we planted seeds of positive reinforcement. We applauded your wins and pushed you to be confident and daring. We told you that anything in life can be accomplished. We were proud of who you were becoming and proud of our own achievements. We were engrossed in your development. And then, this happened…

There was disappointment and embarrassment. Most of all there was self-reflection. We felt confused…

Did we spend too much time showing you how to love us and how to love yourself?

Did we fixate on your success as a means to fill the void of our own past mistakes? Were we to blame for your grisly actions? There were a lot of questions…..

We’ve learned that although our intentions were true, we lost sight along the way. You were the subject of all of our attention.

Perhaps we’d allude to those whom were less fortunate in the world, but we failed to show you their plight.  We didn’t show you how to open your heart to them; and that they will need your kindness and your strength to persevere.

We neglected to teach you the most important aspect in life; compassion.

See child, you are special, but no more than anyone else here on earth. You are their equal.

The same God that is in you, exists in everyone else. We should have spent more time, showing you this universal connection so you can learn to open yourself to this experience.

We should have spent more time preparing you for service rather than success.

Child, you are not evil, nor bad. However, today you are ignorant and ignorance is the root of all evil. You are ignorant because we didn’t show you how to love universally. Maybe this is why you did those terrible things.

As a result of your actions, there will be anger and hostility toward you. It will be embarrassing and difficult. But, to your surprise, there will be a few people that embrace you with a loving spirit that will bring you to your knees.

It will teach you to look at others for who they are on the inside. This will be the lesson that will heal your wounded heart. A lesson that will show you how to become a compassionate adult.

Remember that you are not an island and you are not above anyone.

Your arms are meant to reach out, your heart meant to love.

A world without a compassionate unity will crumble underneath its own apathetic weight.

Your contribution is vital.

Love Always,

Mom & Dad




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Editor: Emma Ruffin

Photo: Lee Morley/Flickr


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