September 13, 2014

How I Detox From Truly Toxic People.


Eeek! It’s happened again. I’ve been bitten, stung or otherwise poisoned by a seemingly less-than-well-intentioned individual.

It sucks.

And if you’re sensitive like me it just really f*cking hurts.

It can throw us completely off track for the entire rest of the day. Our stomach will churn, our insides will tremble and our head will throb—all side effects of the venom we’ve ingested.

It can be so damn hard to get past the fact that someone was unkind and trampled all over us.

The first and difficult thing I try to remember is compassion—his person is not okay, deep inside. This does not at all excuse what they have done but it does give us an insight into the fact that they may be enduring some yucky mental suffering.

We’ve all been there, right?

It can be very hard to be aware of our actions when we are going through something difficult, painful or tumultuous. Maybe we can even remember a time when we’ve struck out at someone simply because of our own mental pain and torture.

Don’t forget—whatever this individual said or did was not truly about you (no matter how much it seems that way). They may be feeling jealousy, anger, sadness or some awful combination of these icky feelings and you simply happen to be there for them to project onto or attack.

Talk about wrong place, wrong time.

But, no matter how compassionate we are—if we’re stung by someone we must get away from the venom! Immediately.

Run if you have to—It’s for your own mental well-being!

This may sound obvious or even a bit cowardly but these folks can have a seductive pull that keeps us engaged in the toxic interaction far longer than need be. They may keep trying to win at the interaction.

My advice—let them!

Who gives a flying f*ck? I honestly feel there is no winning with truly toxic people anyway. The only way to win is to leave because that is what is healthier for us in the long run. No need to play into stupid power games.

Embrace your freedom and leave.

But even after it’s over, you may still be feeling the after effects.

Here’s my go-to list of anti-venoms.

1. Drink a lot of water.

Feeling an intense emotional upset can dehydrate you so keep hydrated to flush out your system.

2. Go outside.

Breathe in the cleansing air of nature. See how peaceful and safe you feel there.

3. Take a shower or bath.

Imagine you are literally washing the pain off of you. Water itself is very healing and comforting.

4. Don’t be afraid to get physical.

Sweating, jumping, and moving can be a wonderful release.

5. Do art of any kind.

Dance, painting, singing, drawing, yoga. Anything.

6. Talk, scream, yell to a trusted and supportive friend.

Don’t keep your hurt feelings to yourself, it only helps the venom spread deeper into your bloodstream.

7. Be there for yourself.

Wrap your arms around your pain and know that you really are okay, beautiful, wonderful, resilient and utterly amazing.

Feel better?

Me too.



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Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr

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Heidi Sep 15, 2014 8:29am

THANK YOU!!!!!…..just got stung in a BIG BIG way…..again…..from the same stinger!…(ya think I'd learn) and this could not have come at a better time…..you're a doll for posting this and I look forward to more of your reads. Cheers to you and have a venom-less day….watch out for those soul sucking vampires and their siren ways…..xoxo

S.W. Sep 14, 2014 4:29pm

Unfortunately, it takes time to realize the wonderful human beings we are! As time goes on and one understands more of human nature- the good and the bad sides- we get stronger about who we are. Those who are not so enlightened have a difficult time dealing with our strengths, so they lash out. Please don't let anyone change your direction! Stay strong!

Santoshanow Sep 13, 2014 11:14am

Thank you – just what I need to hear right now. Such a struggle for me right now.

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Sarah Harvey

Sarah Harvey resides in the mysterious mountains of western North Carolina. Through the journey of healing her own trauma and pain, she has found power in poetry, art, and dance. She loves supporting people to step into their power, find their voices, and flourish. She believes in resilience. She believes that sometimes, our darkest days lead to the most unexpected, breathless joy. She currently offers life coaching sessions and is pursuing her Masters in Counseling. She feels passionate about supporting sensitive souls with a grounded, creative, and gentle approach.  Follow Sarah on Facebook and her website!