It happens all the time—when we make peace with food and cultivate better health habits, we increase our level of self-worth.
The funny thing is, when we increase our level of self-worth, it becomes easier to make the better choices—a positive feedback loop. This happens because better choices become our natural choices.
Better choices are aligned with our true worth of self. And when we are aligned with our true worth of self, it feels good, it is sexy and it oozes natural confidence. It is femininity at its finest.
Of course, the obvious question is how to begin. I teach my clients to start with just a few of the following 35 ideas and rituals. They begin to feel the difference immediately and so will you.
Start with one a day, one a week or one a month.
1. Know your personal values.
Live by your own standards, ideals and principles, wavering for no one. I strive to live my life according the following five values, (habit numbers two to six). When my clients function from these values, I get to watch as they become beautiful, magnetic, alive and consequently, authentically feminine.
2. Radical Personal Responsibility
Your life a consequence of your choices. Consequences are neither bad nor good, they are simply effects. If you do not like your “effects,” it may be time to start making different choices.
3. Positive Perspectives
Choose to see the bright side, it pays off.
4. Whole-Hearted Trust
Faith and trust do not need to be religious in nature, but when you believe that something (anything) bigger than you is on your side, it’s easier to make the right choices.
5. Unwavering Presence
New habits cannot be formed unless you are fully aware of what you are doing. Full awareness requires unwavering presence in everything you do.
6. Practice Splendid Discipline in health, love and money.
Stick to that budget, so you can take yourself on that fabulous trip. Say no to that piece of cake, so you can lose those extra five pounds. Enjoy the current moment with your significant other, as if it were the last. Practice discipline by avoiding the instant gratification, and you’ll begin to understand how such a practice can be splendid!
7. Be authentic.
Be unapologetically real. Live your beautiful quirks. Stand for something.
8. Play more.
“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”
~ Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
9. Master your emotions.
“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love.
Mastering your thoughts is mastering your emotions. If you don’t like what you’re feeling, choose a happy thought to focus on. Your mood will change automatically when you think about happy things.
10. Adopt simplicity, in all areas.
11. Wear a dress.
12. Strive to feel alive in every way.
When you are reaching for and truly experiencing your own life, it is in that moment, that you are the most attractive and magnetic.
13. Be kind in your thoughts and emotions, especially toward yourself.
14. Learn to receive.
Gracefully receive compliments, help and the manifestations of your goals and wildest dreams.
15. Say yes…but only when you really, really want to.
16. Do your hair.
17. Stop saying “sorry.”
Pantene’s marketing video makes the difference quite clear:
18. Feel your feelings, no matter who is watching.
19. Go for something big.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~ Mae West
20. Know that your intelligence, personality and confidence are your true beauty.
21. Choose foods that feed the body of a goddess.
My clients often come to me with a mindset of “good” versus “bad” foods, a black-and-white mentality. When you eat with the purpose of feeding your most beautiful body, there is only one rule: eat well, whether you have fresh veggies or a glass of wine with cheese and crackers; without regret.
22. Know your why.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ~ Mark Twain.
A classic TEDx on The Power of Why by Simon Sinek:
23. Have a money plan.
Fancy coffee now or personal getaway later? Cultivate the habit of delayed gratification.
24. Be a muse. Seek muses.
“The muse is something or someone that has the ability to excite our creative passion and call forth our creative spirit to create. It in an interesting character. At one level it is a figment of our imagination and doesn’t exist. At another level it is very real and vital to our creative endeavor and without them we are robbed of our creative power.” ~ Releasing Your Unlimited Creativity, Ken Ferlic
25. See imperfections as perfections.
The book The Diamond Cutter calls this the hidden potential. Something only has a meaning because that is the meaning you have given it, when in reality, there is an infinite possibility of meanings to one thing. An imperfection is only an imperfection because that’s how you see it.
27. Change your environment.
Add flowers, rearrange a room or even more drastically, move, but do not limit your feminine environment to just your physical surroundings. Think about the people you surround yourself with, your friends, your co-workers—your environment is inclusive of everything around you.
28. Have an educated opinion and boldly share it.
29. Move your body. Stretch, walk, run, dance…you were built to move.
30. Shift from an inferiority mentality to an equality mentality.
31. Surround yourself with positive, influential women.
33. Tout your strengths.
34. Add flowers.
35. Implement self-care rituals.
Take a hot bath. Make that doctor appointment. Take a day off. Schedule personal time.
36. Make eye contact.
37. Surround yourself with people and things that enhance your life. Get rid of the rest. This is a direct reflection of your self-worth.
38. Learn to re-direct the inner critic talk.
Your inner critic will always exist, but it makes a huge difference whether or not s/he is in the driver’s seat. When you allow your inner critic to drive your life, it is filled with fear, insecurity, shame and/or guilt. However when you put him/her in the back seat, or better yet the trunk, your life will have much more courage, safety, pride, and self-respect.
39. Make space for life’s simple luxuries.
Take time to smell the flowers; feel the rain on your face—being fully present in the moment gives you that space.
Remember, femininity is a habit.
These ideas and rituals are choices for us to make in order to practice this habit, and to align ourselves with our highest sense of self-worth and value.
You only live this one life. Make it beautiful. Make it amazing.
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Editor: Catherine Monkman