Culinary Compassion: Having Love Over for Dinner.

Marjan Lazarevski/Flickr

Without a doubt, food is central to our existence.

In a single day we can make over 200 decisions about what to eat, when to eat, how to eat and who to eat with.

Yet, with all this talk about nutrition and diets, could we be missing the mark?

Maybe love needs to be first on our daily menu.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the heart is referred to as the “sovereign,” or the ruler of the body, and is claimed to house the spirit of the person. Some traditions perceive the heart as the center point where body and soul—heaven and Earth—meet.

In many cultures, food is used to express love. Dating couples typically spend their time together eating a meal. Mothers bake for their children.

Our love travels not only through the act of sharing food, but through the act of consuming it. The act of eating and what we eat shows how much we value and love our bodies. Eating behaviors often reveal how connected we are to the greatest form of love—self-compassion.

Through loving ourselves, we are able to form a healthy relationship with food.

Without a solid foundation of love and a free, open heart, we are unable to lovingly assimilate any quantity or quality of nutrients we ingest, no matter how pure and adequate they may be for our body.

Many suffer from disordered eating—over-eating, starvation or fixated eating—and have a damaged self-image that doesn’t allow them to love their bodies. Obesity is a global epidemic and anorexia continues to be one of the leading chronic illnesses among adolescents.

Is it time to be concentrating an equal amount of attention on the emotional aspects of eating and not just the quality of food itself?

Cultivating compassion is a primary focus in current research on disordered eating. Low self-compassion was the strongest predictor in eating disorder pathology in several recent studies (1, 2, 3) and building self-compassion has been shown as the best means by which to prevent disordered eating (3). Feelings of shame, failure, self-disgust, resentment, and contempt are commonly exacerbated in those with eating disorders and, in turn, food is used as punishment rather than nourishment (1).

Here are a few easy ways to cultivate more compassion and get more love as daily nourishment:

Grow food with love and respect. 

People who buy organically grown food claim it tastes better than conventionally-grown food, even when they do not know which one is which. There certainly is an element of “love” that appears to go into organic gardening that you don’t find in mass, industrial farming. When we make the selection for organic food, we are actively tapping into what was imparted from the sun, stars, moon, sky, farmer, harvester and grocer.

Share meals with others. 

The more we share, the more nourishment that is available to all. Invite others over to eat and try new recipes—this is the perfect meal for the heart. Eating in a communal setting is important for us as human beings as we are interdependent. Our lives are about giving and receiving love. When we build walls of isolation or separation around us, we close off the heart. Eating with others blossoms the heart with joy, especially when the meals are prepared and eaten together.

Eat plant foods for circulation and expansion. 

On a symbolic level, vegetables, especially leafy greens, embody the element of expansion. On a nutritional level, plant foods are nourishing to the heart because of the phytonutrient complexity they provide. Green foods contain high levels of plant compounds antioxidants like chlorophyll—the “king” of the plant-based antioxidants.

Religious traditions have used the phrase, “Your body is your temple.”

Indeed, loving and caring for ourselves implies providing our bodies with quality nourishment.

Truly, the greatest nourishment we could ever take in is that of love.



(1) Goss, K., & Allan, S. (2014). The development and application of compassion focused therapy for eating disorders. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(1), 62-77.

(2) Gale, C., Gilbert, P., Read, N., & Goss, K. (2014). An evaluation of the impact of introducing compassion focused therapy to a standard treatment programme for people with eating disorders. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy, 21(1), 1-12.

(3)Kelly, A. C., Vimalakanthan, K., & Carter, J. C. (2014). Understanding the roles of self-esteem, self-compassion, and fear of self-compassion in eating disorder pathology: An examination of female students and eating disorder patients.Eating Behaviors, 15(3), 388-391.




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Editor: Emily Bartran

Photos: Marjan Lazarevski/Flickr

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Deanna Minich

Deanna Minich has the uniqueness of being an out-of-the-box nutritionist who sees more to eating than just calories. She has the foundation of a strong science background with her Master’s and Doctorate degrees and a lifelong study of nutrition. She has worked in clinical practice, in food, lifestyle medicine, and dietary supplement industries, and serves as adjunct faculty at a number of institutes and universities. A truth seeker, Deanna began to study ancient traditions at the age of 18 when she took her first yoga class. She has studied with intuitive, Patrice Connelly, and Lakota Shaman, Char Sundust. She began to realize through this journey that science and spirituality can be interwoven to optimize healing, and has written five books on healing, food, and spirituality. Please visit foodandspirit.com to learn more about Dr. Minich and her journey.  Also, check our new program for professionals at foodandspiritprofessional.com.