My dog Ruby passed away last night

Returned to the Undifferentiated Wholeness

In the beginning she took me with her eyes
So it was at the end: her eyes bid me farewell

I know: no thing is ever gone: all returns to source
This moment moonlight compassion lightens my heart

This is not so subtle: letting go of a soul full companion
This sad breath taking moment: breathing in now

This is what Ruby taught me
When life sends a challenge––wag your tail

When life sends an opportunity—wag your tail
Breath in—wag your tail Breath out—wag your tail

A detail: For a dozen or so years we woke in the pre-dawn dark
Together, we meditated, we walked, we greeted the sun

The world echoes & we are its echo chambers
Our every ache vibrates the world’s womb: our every breath alters the cosmos

I realize this moment’s suffering has purpose
As it deepens the wisdom born of every suffering I have suffered

In hours I shall celebrate the day of my birth with my beloveds
Called to the center of my heart by the voices of my six grandchildren

Such grace eases my spirit
My tiny place in the cosmos overflows with sweet belonging

This moment though I descend into the darkening paradox
If I seek Ruby outside: she is not there

If I seek Ruby on the inside
She is beyond all that

Another detail: Ruby taught me how to properly love the moon
Howling: then silence: then stillness: then swallow the moon!

I know: silence is the womb of God’s existence
Still I yearn for the sound of my dog’s breathing

Intuitive: fiercely dignified: luminously loyal
A bit of a growler: ever the optimist: determined

Ruby, soon enough, I will stop yearning for you
Nor seek you in places you are not: you are more than that now

Soon enough, I will honor you with my very presence
This breath: this moment: this here and now

Soon enough
I will wag my tail

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Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: courtesy of the author