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December 4, 2014

Sometimes Love Means Sleeping on the Couch.

Sleep on the couch

I love writing posts about freedom.

Sharing what is possible in an organically committed relationship. Organic monogamy is when you finally come to the realization that the person in front of you is everything you have asked for, everything you have imagined and dreamed about all these years and that no one could ever do it better than he or she does.

And yet—especially when living together—there is that need for space, for me time, for cave time, for mountain time, whatever you want to call it. We all know about it—we say it—and yet, how easily do you ask for it? Can you really say I need some me time, without your mind saying sh*t—I hope he or she is okay with that!

Like anything else, even in conscious relationships, even with agreements to always be authentic, talking about it is a whole lot easier than actually taking that action.

Fear. Fear of not wanting to hurt another. Fear of getting what you want but having consequences—even if unconscious ones. Fear of not meeting his or her needs.

Those are the things that surface for me.

It sounds so simple—Baby, I need some me time tonight. I want to watch TV, a dirty movie, have some wine and fall asleep on the couch. Me time. Man cave time. I need Jonathan time and I need it now!

And you know what? Her answer? “Of course—go for it—I find it sexy when you take care of yourself.”

It actually took her saying that a few times until I finally got it. Yes! F*ck yes! Go love yourself.

So I opened wine, I watched a few TV shows I had missed, I watched my dirty movie, I even told our dog to go be a dog elsewhere (I love her) and I had a wonderful evening and great night of refreshing sleep with me.

And in the morning, we made love.

The freedom to sleep on the couch. The act of practicing self love. Having a partner who is so consciously aware and practices what she preaches.

This is why I love this woman.

And yes, for those wondering, she has the exact same freedom!

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Author: Jonathan Rudd

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: courtesy of the author, wikipedia

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