Don’t start this Daily Practice unless you’re Willing to Change.

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dailymeditation.com

Meditation changes us—but not in the way we think.

A Buddhist teacher I respect a great deal once proclaimed a warning about meditation: don’t do it unless you’re willing to change.

It’s the new year, and with it comes New Year resolutions. It’s that time of year where people start meditating, because they want to change themselves for the better. They want to become better, calmer or more productive.

If you’re one of the two gazillion people aiming to launch a meditation practice in this new year, this warning may sound appealing. Take it from me: meditation will change you—but not in the way you may originally have suspected.

For the last two months of 2014 I took to a cabin in the woods to re-evaluate, meditate and look ahead to 2015. I woke up not too long ago with my wall covered in all the various activity I’m engaged in, written out on yellow paper. The paper bares my horrible handwriting, and also a common theme.

There were pieces that listed different ways I teach meditation. Others mentioned the various books I’ve written/am writing on meditation. Others have the names of various websites and magazines where I write articles on meditation. Then there was this one big piece of paper that read, “The Institute for Compassionate Leadership.”

Looking at the wall, the over-arching notion of what I do became clear: my work revolves around trying to make meditation accessible to all sorts of people.

Stepping back from the wall I found myself asking, “Why?”

The answer is simple: it helps people. Specifically, it helps them connect to who they are. It empowers them to let down their walls. It lets them open their heart. Meditation will transform us if we let it. The bonus that no one signs up for in the New Year resolution is that as it opens our heart it makes us want to help the world.

That takes us to the piece of paper that names the non-profit I founded three years ago. At the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, we take people from diverse backgrounds who know they want to help the world and give them a daily meditation practice so they become more self-aware.

One of the Tibetan words for meditation is gom. This word can also be translated as “become familiar with” or “familiarity.” In other words, when we sit down to meditate what we are actually doing is becoming more familiar with who we truly are.

After months of meditation, Institute participants begin to notice what personal and professional goals keep coming up that they may have been ignoring as a result of fear. They discover when they aren’t communicating effectively or listening enough or how they hold certain prejudices. They see their impact on the world and are then more discerning in their behavior.

The Institute does more than meditation though; we combine that work with in-depth community organizing training and send our participants to go work in their communities. When they begin to approach their workplace or volunteer opportunities through these lenses they do so from a place of genuine compassion, not with the privileged mindset of “I’m so good to be doing this, let me help all you little people.” They realize that we all suffer, and want to help in whatever way makes sense given the circumstances they encounter. They do not go through the world with a lens of sympathy; they view it with empathy.

At the end of six months of training at the Institute we get them a mentor and help them network to find that social change job or launch that beneficial venture they know will help society. It has been so inspiring to see that through the mindfulness, community organizing and practical leadership training, new contributors to the movement of people doing good in the world are going out and doing just that.

In December we graduated our second class and they will go on to do work in gender and LGBTQ equality, reimagining how we view mental health, and mentoring young people who need it most. But the path began for them, as it did for me, as it does for so many, with mindfulness practice.

If you are beginning a meditation practice you will, at some point, hit the wall where you want to quit. People don’t stop meditating because they start to change for the better. They stop meditating because they don’t see rapid enough change. We’re so used to instant gratification in America. Meditation is not that.

Meditation is a gradual shift. We have to put in the work of sitting on our butt on a daily basis, coming back to the breath over and over again, and only then do we start to see subtle results. We might notice that we were less reactive when that jerk at work was showing off. Or we were more present with our partner over dinner. Or we were more patient with that person in front of us in line at the supermarket. It’s those moments when we say, “Ah ha! I might be kinder/more productive/calmer because of this thing I’m doing.”

If we want to make a shift internally, it has to be slow and steady. These days some people are trying to market launching a meditation as “effortless.” It’s not. Sorry. It’s a lot of time and energy where we just keep coming back to the present moment.

After decades of habituation, pledging our mental allegiance to distraction, it actually takes a great deal of effort to come back to what is going on right now.

But if we want to change for the better, we ought to do it. We ought to let the practice soften the walls around our heart and allow our compassion to flow more seamlessly into the world. It’s worth the effort. And, like those participants at the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, it can inspire us to do great things—things that will greatly benefit society.

So please don’t start meditating, unless you’re willing to change. Don’t do it, unless you want your own open heart to start to effect society overall. If you do it, commit wholeheartedly and please join the ranks of those working to change the world for the better.

~

Relephant:

Worthy of Love. ~ Lodro Rinzler

~

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Author: Lodro Rinzler

Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photos: dailymeditation.com

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Lodro Rinzler

Lodro Rinzler is a teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and the author of the books “The Buddha Walks into a Bar” and “Walk Like a Buddha”. Over the last decade he has taught numerous workshops at meditation centers and college campuses throughout North America. Lodro’s column, “What Would Sid Do”, appears regularly on the Huffington Post and he is frequently featured in Marie Claire, Reality Sandwich, the Interdependence Project, Shambhala Sun, Buddhadharma and Good Men Project. He is the founder of the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, an authentic leadership training and job placement organization, and lives in Brooklyn with his dog Tillie and his cat Justin Bieber.

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anonymous Jan 28, 2015 11:51am

I'm on board with everything up until the "Please don't do it unless…" Encourage anyone to take some time and sit with themselves. On whatever level to practice being still. Everything opens up and reveals itself from there.

anonymous Jan 28, 2015 9:30am

Can't see my life without meditation. I notice "edges" of myself when I don't. It's a MUST for me — at least once per day. Read your book, "The Buddha Walks into a Bar," and I love it! Your book was our five-week focus study book in our yoga book club last year.

Keep up your fabulous works, Lodro! Please, please, please…keep inspiring us, informing us, directing us…helping us.

Love & Light ~

anonymous Jan 27, 2015 7:02am

Oh, do I know this gig. Ten years ago, I joined a monastery as an associate (someone who lives an adapted version of the monks' rule of life in the "real world"). Yes, I am probably calmer and more centered. I also felt the need to leave a good-paying but soulless career to write (for no pay) about the life of the spirit. The spiritual practice pushed me in a direction I never would have considered. So Lodro Rinzler is spot-on in my book.

anonymous Jan 26, 2015 6:43pm

I recently started a meditation practice (within the last six months), and there are some mornings where I simply go through the motions. Your article put a compleely different perspective in my heart, and I'm excited for the shift to take place gradually.

    anonymous Jan 27, 2015 8:15am

    So glad the article is helpful Christine!