Please F*ck Me to My Peaceful Place.

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We met seven years ago, and the pure physical joy between us has never paused for breath.

I cannot wrap my mind around why my body so loves his, but oh, how it does.

Every inch—from the curve of his smile, to the way his hair sticks up after sleep, to the strength of his shoulders, his legs, him wrapped around me.

There is no curbing this chemistry.

When we broke up for a time, we couldn’t even meet one another for coffee because we knew what passion it would lead to (and he respected me too much to engage in random sex). There is love, yes—the kind that comes with true recognition of one another, complete with peccadilloes, inadequacies. He challenges my mind—and that in itself is erotic—but this is really about two bodies colliding.

Somewhere that love has meshed with the lust and created a mind-blowing bliss I could never have imagined.

I like to think I am very strong, independent and need no completion. Were I to remain single for the rest of my life, I believe I would remain at peace, loving, happy and engaged with the world around me. I need no other, no better half, no partner.

I am a full, rich being in my own right.

But my pure animal lust for him cannot be denied. I’ve dated other men before him, even been married. Nothing has ever tipped my world upside down like this. He is the ocean to my beach, the lullabye to my nightmare, the cream to my sugar. He is every cheesy line in every ridiculous greeting card ever written.

He is the antidote to my poison.

When I am with him, my mind goes quiet.  For someone who has searched the world over for a mind at peace, this is heaven encapsulated. Perhaps that is why I can then so eagerly turn to tactile pleasures, a kiss, a stroke, a sigh.

My body feels strong with him. He predicts my movements, knows my rhythms, answers with his own. His heat seeks mine, he loves me wholly and deeply. To paraphrase John Mayer, he “never lets my head hit the bed without his hand behind it.

The sex is full of connection at times, other times just pure unadulterated passion. Always, there is trust.

I fought against this pleasure for years. Believing myself, us, undeserving. I wasted time tangled up in disaster-webs of my own weaving. Now, my heart has opened to embrace this as a part of my new life. In another lifetime, I hated every inch of my skin, every ounce of fat, every freckle and strand of hair.

Now, my body is a miracle in action. Running, hiking, f*cking—I am proud of every movement it makes.

He rolls over in the night and reaches for me, tucks an arm around me, pulls me close. I am blessed abundantly, and I do not push this love away. My body and heart have earned these rights—to be held closely and safely, to be made love to riotously and thoroughly.

To be loved through and through, and then over again.

To be at peace, mind and body.

~

Relephant Reads:

F*ck, I Love You.

 

Can You Feel Me?

~

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Author: Keeley Milne

Editor: Emily Bartran

Image: Ludmila Vilarinhos/Flickr

The Elephant Ecosystem

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Keeley Milne

Keeley Milne is a lover of words, an intrepid creator, and strives to find contentment every day in the simplicity of her life. She is most content when with her son Liam, a pile of books, or in the woods—and best yet all three at once. She loves to run marathons in other countries, go on solo adventures, and drink a perfect cup of coffee. She is a voracious reader and loves to write, listen, and laugh. Keeley makes her home in Medicine Hat, Alberta, where she is completing an English degree, going for runs in the coulees, and hugging Liam as much as she can, every day. You can connect with Keeley on her Facebook here, on Instagram, on Tumblr and at her website.

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melaniefrome Nov 29, 2018 11:23am

This made my whole body vibrate with longing & recognition ?♥️

anonymous Jan 10, 2016 9:39pm

Wowzi I can't agree past any more eternities of the fact this too has been and continues to beautifully to exist in my love reality also 🙂 thanks a bunch for reading and expressing the truth in our life … Merci mada'm ! Xo 🙂 more souls are realizing how big the life they dreamed for their romance happens to be unfolding beyond their beliefs and such :*

anonymous Nov 17, 2015 2:39pm

<3

anonymous Aug 28, 2015 8:09pm

–and I would like to try it..

anonymous Feb 17, 2015 2:04am

I am 51 years old, just coming out of a 28 year marriage. I was lucky enough to have dated 3 men since my divorce. They were all great in their own way, but I had come to the fact, that being with a man in his fifties, that I was never going to a much of a sex life, for the rest of my life.

Well, I met this 52 year old man, that I was NOT at all attracted to, but went out to dinner with anyway. With that being said. from that day forward, he introduced me to things that I did not even know existed, and we had the most MIND BLOWING sex, YES, EVERYDAY, several times a day for 10 months.

The bad thing was, I was only addicted to his sexual abilities and how much of a woman he made me feel like I was. I don’t know if he read it in a book or what, but let me tell you, if I could have bottled him, I would be a very rich woman. But….as for a person-he sucked!!! I pretty much hated everything about him, except the passion we shared in the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc.!!!!!

So, eventually, I guess he wanted more than a sexual partner, and that I just could not be. Well, at least not with him. The sad thing is, I would still be there today. But he wanted a relationship and I just couldn’t give him that, being that I did not like almost everything he said or did. But, I have to be honest, not a day or almost a hour goes by, that I don’t think of all the sexual pleasure that shared with each other.

anonymous Feb 16, 2015 1:38pm

(male guest)

I have given that type of love, but have never felt it returned.

anonymous Feb 14, 2015 2:39pm

Of course you don’t need anyone to complete you (besides jesus) but we are human and God did not make us to be alone. We need a monogamous relationship expressing God’s love. His definition of love is perfect

anonymous Feb 14, 2015 9:15am

This.

anonymous Feb 14, 2015 6:42am

A long time ago, I met a man who I had unbelievable chemistry with, it was stunning! But, there was no kindness. If there was, it would have been my life’s search over, and exactly like this……

Thank you for sharing. You are unbelievably lucky. I wish you even more love than you have now.

anonymous Feb 13, 2015 5:56pm

This is what I have never been able to express about the woman I have been in love with for over 20 years. After several starts and many years of not seeing each other we are finally giving ourselves the chance we deserve. Thank you for this.

anonymous Jan 28, 2015 10:32am

You touch me deeply and recharge my intention to have that in a relationship. Thank you.

anonymous Jan 24, 2015 3:41am

How did you change your ability to feel this desire and passion. I need help with the exact problem you originally had

anonymous Jan 11, 2015 4:31am

Overwhelming.

anonymous Jan 9, 2015 5:53am

Very powerful. It gives me peace to know that this kind of connection is alive and REAL. While I may never experience it in my life time, just the hope that it could keeps me hopeful. Love on.

anonymous Jan 8, 2015 11:16am

My goodness ^-^!! You are so blessed to be and have so much love ^-^. I wish you all of the joyous little moments this life can offer.

anonymous Jan 8, 2015 9:26am

This made me miss my ex. #tears

anonymous Jan 8, 2015 6:56am

Beautiful. Best thing I’ve read on Elephant Journal to date 🙂

anonymous Jan 8, 2015 4:19am

I get this. It perfectly encapsulates my experience with a man I have recently reconnected with. Ours is not a relationship, never was, but WOW, THE SEX. Our physical chemistry is off the charts and I've never felt more beautiful, sexy, or absolutely satisfied with anyone before. I don't want or need a relationship at the moment, and I have a lot going on in my life, but he is my happy place, my break, my hiatus from stress, my release, my recharge.

    anonymous Mar 10, 2015 6:04pm

    Oh please please respond! I have known a “happy place” such as u mention for more than a year. Hes been my thing this whole time. I am in no place in my life to engage in a relationship. But at the same time, he seems to NEVER want a relationship. And that bothers me. Any thoughts?

anonymous Jan 8, 2015 3:46am

Powerful.

anonymous Jan 7, 2015 10:17pm

I love this so much! Very fitting for how this new romance is going, and I feel particularly hopeful hearing 7 years of bliss there 😀

anonymous Jan 7, 2015 6:46pm

This is rather beautiful.

    elephant journal Jan 7, 2015 7:46pm

    Thank you very much. 🙂

Ali CB Quartz Dec 9, 2016 7:28pm

Rawr!

Sol Torres Rolón Nov 6, 2016 1:26am

Just surrender and trust . So hard but so worthy

Krystal Garrison Oct 18, 2016 11:51pm

Reminds me of the man I love. No matter who I'm with, no matter how many other partners I have, his body is the only one that I'm completely in tune with. No one else can touch me the way he does. It's both calming and exhilarating. His kiss is the only kiss that can soothe my soul. His hug is the only one that makes me feel completely safe. He's the only one who intuitively knows how to touch me to make sure I'm in complete bliss. But we're not a couple. We're best friends. We're soul mates. We're twin flames. But I don't know if we're meant to be together in this lifetime. If we're not, I'm going to at least enjoy every moment I get with him.

Guy Gutierrez Jul 6, 2016 2:14pm

I read this story a while ago and then again this am. I was in a terrible loveless marriage for 22 years when my Beautiful came along. A old H.S. friend that has beauty, passion and a body that makes men create new words to describe how incredibly beautiful she is. She opened me to passion like I never knew but somehow always felt inside of me. She made it okay to be a voracious lover and her smell, the gorgeous perfume she wore, her energy and the taste of sugar on her tongue will never disapear for me.....ever! We are not together any longer..... things were complicated for too many reasons to write about and for reasons that are between us. In the end she was the one who taught me passion, what I want from a woman to be my partner (not wife) and she taught me, although dissapointing that there can be more than one soul mate that will come into your life. I love her still but I will carry that love into other passions with and into the lives of people I love most in my life and hopefully the next magnificent woman that both God and the universe matches me with.......but if she were to call, I'd love to just say Hi Beautiful, how have you been?