An Unexpected Reminder

We live in a world fearful of presence
Fearful of eye contact
Fearful of silence
Fearful of confrontation
Fearful of touch
Fear.

Play with fear
Let yourself feel nervous
Awkward
Weird
Stupid.

Soon enough you will have power over fear
And nothing will feel awkward
Or weird
Or stupid.

Be present
Don’t give fear the power
Give love instead.

Yesterday after my yoga class I walked over to a local restaurant. I was alone.

Being a college student, I eat alone a lot, and am used to it, so I did not expect to feel vulnerable.

The cashier greeted me with the usual, “Hi, how are you today?” I responded with the routine, “I’m good, how are you?” He continued the conversation making full eye contact with me the entire time.

I was not prepared to have a full-on conversation and found myself fidgeting and playing with my hands. In my head I felt like a complete idiot, when in actuality, the cashier probably had absolutely no idea how uncomfortable I was feeling.

Why did I need to be prepared to have a conversation with a stranger?

I think we all have had this kind of experience, whether it be with a stranger, an acquaintance or even a crush.

It’s human.

We need to accept that we’re not always going to be in “on” mode. There are going to be countless situations in our lives where will be left feeling stupid.

“Why did I say that?” “That was awkward.”

Truth is, nothing is awkward. No one is judging us. We are our best judge and can be damn harsh.

 ~

Relephant read:

Fidgeting is Fear.

 

Author: Gabi Rudin

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr