4.3

The 90 Day Sex Rule.

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There is no instruction manual for relationships, no rules set in stone, but rather theories or opinions that people believe work.

But everyone has their theories about love and what to do if you want the “perfect relationship.” And who’s to say what works and what doesn’t? What makes some advice better than others? Is it men or women that create the rules? The everyday man or the media?

According to one individual, Steve Harvey, women make the rules and women decide if relationships work or not. He states this in his recent novel, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. In the book he refers to a 90 day rule that he believes works well. This rule states that women should wait 90 days before giving away the “cookie.”

He compares having sex for the first time with a man you are dating to work benefits. He says that if you have to be employed with a company for 90 days before getting the benefits why should relationships be any different?

So if Steve says we are supposed to wait 90 days, how many of us have already broken that rule? I know I did. I mean let’s get real, 90 days is a hell of long time to wait for anything. So let’s talk reality.
I was all for waiting to have sex. I think that sex is extremely special and should only be done when two individuals are deeply in love. Even though this is what I believe, with my current significant other I did not have the discipline to wait 90 days. Instead I made it to about 60. We have now been together a little over a year and I currently refer to him as my fiancé.

A very close friend of mine views sex very different than I do. She has currently been with her man for a little over a year as well. The idea of waiting to have sex was nonexistent for them. They went out on their first date and hooked up that night. They are currently in the process of buying a house and are planning for a wedding in the near future.

Two very different scenarios, but one very similar outcome. The steps we took to get to where we are in our relationships today were not the same at all but somehow we both found our happily ever after.

So now I ask myself, could the 90 day rule work?

Of course.

Could it backfire?

Of course.

I think that all in all, what it comes down to is how much effort you put into your relationship. One night stands happen, but so does love at first sight. There are players out there that are just looking for an easy hook up, but there are also Prince Charmings.

Waiting 90 days isn’t going to change who a person is or how they treat you after having sex. It is simply prolonging the physical act of having sex and that is all. What is truly significant is the love, passion, romance and happiness in the relationship at that moment.

Now I’m not trying to say that if a guy buys you a drink at the bar and you feel happy to go jump into bed with him! I’m just saying that life is short, and when you know, you know. So whether you want to wait 90 days or 9 days just make sure that you’re doing it for you and for the right reasons.

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Relephant:

This is Why I Wait for Sex.

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Author: Danielle Horton

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Flickr/Samuel Hearn

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Marguerite Mar 20, 2016 6:29am

The relationships that stand the test of time in terms of happiness are based on a strong foundation of friendship and common values – it takes more than 90 days to know someone – the more than 50% of divorces proves that people would benefit by waiting longer to see if they really like each other not just if their hormones are talking

Ivan Dec 24, 2015 8:50am

And this writer isn’t old enough to have experienced enough life to be giving out advice to “adults” considering she is barely one herself. You just STARTED wearing big girl panties… and only recently stopped dropping them for every date or frat party you went to!

And now you’re engaged instead of learning to live independently, on your own, via your own career dollars, and won’t have a single day in your life when you were truly on your own — college is nothing but “independence while being very dependent.”

You’re the typical “Mrs” degree acceptor and won’t have a clue about managing your life in the 50/50 world we live in, if the relationship cracks.

Such a joke. You won’t even graduate and live life proudly on your own accomplishments for 90 days. I said won’t because you obviously made the silly choice not to bother.

Bill Oct 9, 2015 4:42pm

Steve Harvey is a douche. I’m not taking advice from that bald bastard.

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Danielle Horton

Danielle Horton is currently a senior at Arizona State University studying psychology and sociology. Her true passion is people. She loves giving advice, listening to people’s problems and opinions and learning new things about why individuals do what they do or behave in a certain way. She is recently engaged and can honestly say that she couldn’t be any happier with her life. She dreams of traveling and changing the world…or at least changing the lives and touching the hearts of as many people as she can.