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March 11, 2015

What I was Never Told about Love.

Photo: Dennis Skley

I have been told many things about love.

I’ve been told that love is about passion, desire and intimacy.

I’ve been told love is about finding a connection that is equally physical, emotional and spiritual.

I’ve been told love is an honest relationship, a thoughtful mind, a selfless attitude.

I’ve been told love is about compromise, about being flexible, about finding middle ground.

I’ve been told love is a feeling deep in the pit of your stomach; that when you fall in love, you’ll know.

I’ve also been told that love is eternal; that when you find the right person, you’ll never have to search again.

Well, I’ve been passionate. I’ve felt the depths of desire and I’ve been lost in intimacy. I’ve connected physically, emotionally and spiritually—more than I ever thought possible. I’ve been honest, thoughtful and selfless.

I’ve compromised, I’ve been flexible and I’ve reached middle ground. I’ve had feelings deep in the pit of my stomach, so pure that there can be no doubt they were anything but love.

Many times I have met the right person, but alas, many times I have lost them.

This is what I was never told about love:

Love is acceptance.

It’s not just the warm fuzzy feelings, the butterflies in your stomach or the passion surging through your body. These are nothing more than the sensations of infatuation, the flutters of excitement, the wonder and awe of what could be. Yet, without acceptance these sweet sensations fade, the flutters dull and the wonder disappears.

To love someone is to explore these sensations, knowing that they are merely an invitation to discover the power of acceptance.

Love is not a compromise.

To love someone is to accept them for who they are and what they stand for. For what they love and what they hate. For what they need and what they want. For where they’ve been and where they’re headed. For what they possess and what they lack.

These aren’t compromises you make, or things you learn to live with. To love someone is to accept them at this level, right down to their weak, damaged, vulnerable core. To embrace their flaws, knowing that these very imperfections are the essence of what makes them unique.

Love resides within.

Love is a seed that lives in your soul.

To love yourself is to water this seed, to nourish it with enough goodness that you create an abundance of love within. This abundance is what allows you to share your love. To accept others like you have accepted yourself. To love selflessly without requiring love in return.

This is what it really means to love.

 

Relephant Read:

Love Should Never Be Lazy.

 

Author: Garrick Transell

Assistant Editor: Hilda Carroll/ Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Image via Flickr, flickr

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