Sex is meant to be sacred, I believe.
Yet, finding sacredness in sex is a rarity in our sexually saturated society.
I, for one, am sick and tired of the edited, fake, and often pornographic images that cripple the natural beauty and sensuality of us.
Somewhere imprinted deep in me is a sadness that sexual abuse, which so many (too many) of us have experienced, has shattered much (but never all) hope for a sacred sex life.
Sex is a topic that can ripple into many directions and points, but for the sake of this article I simply want to share a few ideas on making sex sacred.
All past and/or current sexual experiences and stories aside, here are six ways to restore sacredness to sex:
1. Never share your body with someone you can’t share your heart with.
I believe our experiences are imprinted in our body and spirit, and that sex is the deepest connection of body and soul. Sacred sex “makes love,” love emanates from the heart, and making love is sacred. If you are unable to open your vulnerable heart to someone then your vulnerable body will never truly open to them, making sacred sex impossible because the sacredness lives within the vulnerability. On the other side of this same coin, opening your vulnerable body, too, helps to open your vulnerable heart. When we make love, we make sex sacred.
2. Set the orgasm goal down.
Orgasm is a luscious, healing, immensely pleasurable result of sexuality. However, sometimes when we begin the path of sacralizing sex, we focus too much on the end result, assuming that orgasm is the epitome of all sex. Not true. Focus on the beginning and every moment along the way. This will ultimately bring the orgasm closer.
3. Shit on shame.
Family induced, religion induced or society induced, most of us have felt or faced shame in some context when it comes to our body, sensuality and sexuality. The cleanup won’t be easy, but beginning is the start toward a more sacred connection with your sexuality.
4. Make it mutual.
Sacred sex is about giving and receiving, whether you are exploring sacredness and sexuality with a partner or with yourself. Give and receive.
5. Have more.
It’s difficult to fully step into the sacredness of something that we do not prioritize. Up your ante on both the sacred and the sex. Cultivate a richer connection with this revered part of your spirit by making it an important expression of yourself.
6. Know and allow the body to be sacred.
The shame around sex and our bodies drowns so many women. The reasons are many, and few of us are void of them. But somewhere in all of us we know, on a cellular level, that body and spirit are not an “or.” They are an “and,” connected and deeply affected by each other.
Restoring a sacred relationship to our body is absolutely essential in restoring sacredness to sex. Sex is nourishment, for the heart, for the womb, for the body and the spirit. Making love can be sincere love and nourishment for ourselves, both stable and messy love between two souls, or a catalytic release of profound love and connection shared alone or between two people.
Author: Falan Storm
Editor: Emily Bartran