Many years ago during my second year of college, I casually mentioned to a friend of mine that my parents had divorced when I was four.
My friend, an unfailing polite young man from East Asia who by his own admission had grown up in a traditional home said quietly and with a ton of empathy in his voice, “Oh my! No one in my family has ever endured that sort of disgrace.”
I laughed then, and I laugh now when I re-tell that tale.
I used to think I was usual, but even at a very young age I felt that my parents’ divorce was the best thing they ever could have done for themselves and subsequently for me.
Not only were they ill-matched, but as I later discovered a few years before he died, my father was gay.
And honestly, neither bothered me.
While my story isn’t that typical (though as I found out from talking to others in my age group it’s not that usual either), there are many kids out there with divorced parents. Even with the US marriage rate in decline, a lot of marriages end in divorce and many divorcing couples have young children.
Still, even though divorce is common, attitudes about the supposedly negative effect it has on children remains. Even though studies show that most kids adjust well over time, there is still a stigma about coming from a “broken home.”
One nine-year-old Indonesian boy has chosen to challenge that image.
Azka Corbuzier wrote a story for a YouTube video about himself as “a broken home kid.” However, despite the gloomy title, Azka’s story is anything but depressing. Instead, he reveals his parents are on good terms, they rarely fight any more, and even travel together on holidays.
Azka, who may be his country’s youngest vlogger, says he “hopes to inspire others whose parents are divorced.” Given that divorce is still somewhat of a taboo in Indonesia, it’s even more inspiring that he is reaching out with his story.
As he says, “It’s not a broken home when you still have the same love from your parents.”
Indeed. He’s right.
While no one I know has ever gotten divorce ever said they planned it that way or loved the process, the truth is it is possible to survive and thrive after a divorce and for the kids to be all right.
Author: Kimberly Lo
Editor: Renée Picard