“Invade me with your hot mouth; interrogate me with your night-eyes,
if you want—only let me steer like a ship through your name; let me rest there.”
~ Pablo Neruda
Welcome to July’s full moon, a powerful vortex of male energy and sensuality.
The Full Buck Moon or Thunder Moon (named for the time of year when bucks sprout their antlers, and signifying July’s propensity for strong summer storms) is not a time for the gentler love arts.
Because of the deep, physical, masculine energy drenching the night sky this July 1st, it is appropriate to celebrate with intensity.
The moon, governess of ocean tides, tugs at our own sea of emotions and desires. It is easy to be surprised each full moon by the return of strong actions and reactions within our nature because we have been lulled by the waning and dark moon, often missing the subtle climb towards full moon energy once more.
Emotions may be vulnerable, and seeking full expression. Ironically, vulnerability can lead to a deep seated desire for passionate release. The psyche aches to express itself through physical engagement.
If it is magic you are seeking within your relationship, the full moon is the perfect time to indulge.
Indeed, why not set aside the night of every full moon for sensual sex play? A monthly return to each other through touch and spiritual connection, as it were.
Luna is ripe and fertile, abundant in this stage of her heavenly cycle. Enter her gateway with confidence. Seek her light and renew yourself.
Full moon sacred sex begins with an intention.
What gifts do you wish to bring each other to strengthen your bond? What emotional, spiritual and intellectual insights can you expand on?
Scared sex is made so by the participants, it is you who are sacred. No matter what it is that you engage in this night, ranging from sweet love making to BDSM to inviting others into your bedroom and more; all can be made sacred with an intention towards respectfully honoring your actions.
By the light of the moon, feel free to tell each other your deepest desires for life and your continued partnership. These confessions may have nothing to do with sex at all, but with your spiritual or intellectual needs.
Once you feel safe and wrapped in a blanket of trust with your partner, you can continue on to reveal your physical desires.
Explore your fantasies. If you are sensitive to the voluminously open full moon energy, inhibitions will be dashed to the ground. Just go for it. Ask for what you need.
Quite often, lovers are shy to divulge their darker sides to each other for fear of being laughed at, or considered strange for their erotic fantasies. Unwrapping each others eroticism together is a safe way to learn more about what sets you on fire.
One trick for divulging your fantasies is to have them written on paper, folded and placed in a basket.
Each partner has a basket of their own, and the couple takes turns opening each others secrets, and reading them quietly to themselves or out loud, depending on the comfort level of the writer of the fantasy.
Reading a fantasy, I think, is ultimately more erotic. It’s like looking through a forbidden book, in a secret corner of the library, discovering a hidden gem while the world spins around you unaware of your indulgence into a darker, magical realm.
If you do read each others fantasies, be prepared for playing them out that night, with all the toys and props you will need for the particular fantasy. Nothing worse than being caught with a burning desire for something kinky without the right accoutrements.
Blame it on the moon
I mean this literally. Use the full moon as your freedom card to be as wild as you can be.
Afford yourself and each other a “no fantasy too strange” policy that one night each month. Agree to blame the moon if feeling shaky about disclosure. The moon won’t mind, it is a willing secret keeper and holds no judgements at all.
I’m inclined to say that if you do not judge yourself, someone else’s judgement will not be an issue for you. Be real. Know yourself and love who you are. Kinks and all.
You want to do what?
So back to July’s full moon and getting your kink on.
Let’s start with candles and oils.
Candles are quite phallic in nature and subconsciously signal the ‘erect’ image to the mind, which when aroused, willingly accepts sexual prompts.
Candle light is becoming on naked bodies and allows for any shyness to be bathed in its warm light. Don’t skimp, get a good number of candles, and perhaps beeswax because it’s natural and smells divine.
Also, you already have an extra tool for kinky play at hand, if you’re into dripping a little hot wax here and there. But remember, you’re trying to fire up the action not set the house on fire!
Have on hand some nice oil for massage. Pick scents (if any) that appeal to both of you, and don’t worry about having to give a full on massage, this is just to smooth on in the places that you are interested in, and of course, lubrication.
A warming oil with cinnamon is lovely to stimulate the clitoris and penis, and adds spice.
Coconut oil is safe for sex play, nourishes the skin and is not toxic in any way. You really can use coconut oil for everything!
Hands over smooth, silky, oiled skin is a dream and not surprisingly, makes entry into forbidden places all that much easier, indeed, you will be hard pressed (pun intended) to not use your fingers to explore everywhere there is.
Another element is music, and I’d like to say that choosing music suitable to the kind of love play you will be engaging in is very important.
Find what moves you, just change it up a bit from the norm.
In fact, forget what you usually do. This night is for discovering something new about yourself and your lover.
Oh, and words. Your usual words are out. Try some new phrases on your tongue. Be bold. Say those words you’re really thinking. Ask for the same, if your lover has wanted to use a word but has shied away for fear of offending you, perhaps they can be given a green light, and you can try it on for size.
You might find that it helps to break down a barrier and add some fierce intensity to your play.
That goes for where you make love as well. Start somewhere different than where it occurs other nights. I suggest the hallway of your apartment or somewhere rather risky. I said, start…
Break usual habits, re-train your hands to touch in a new pattern, try a new drink, wear pink if you usually wear black, lay that newly purchased whip or toy or rope in plain view to suggest you intention.
Breathe deep and allow your lover access to places they have been begging for.
If you feel safe, and you’re tuned into Luna’s powerful energy, you will find full moon love to be a catalyst for better sex than you could have imagined.
Each month, in preparation for your full moon love fest, fuel each other with fantasies you hope to try and make a pact to actually wait for it. Now that is a way to make time stand still! By the next full moon both of you will be writhing with anticipation.
Full moon blessings lovers!
Author: Monika Carless
Editor: Renee Jahnke
Image: Gabriel S Delgado-Flickr