July 22, 2015

Preparing for Venus Retrograde: Cleansing Rituals to Get Rid of Old Lovers & Bad Love Juju.


We perform rituals every day—getting ready for work, how we make our coffee the same way or how we prepare to go to bed.

In our modern era we have largely lost track of rituals that cleanse, clear or make space and rarely do we talk about literally cleaning ourselves and our space after a relationship ends or we have conflict in our current one.

With Venus, the planet of love, intimacy and creativity, going retrograde on July the 25th, now is the perfect time to clear out exes, old lovers or even past strain and pain in your current relationship. It will give us an opportunity to “go back” and clear up our own energy in these areas and create the space for literally new relationships or new forms in our current relationship.

A Blast From the Past I Didn’t Need.

Don’t think your physical world is affecting you? Try stumbling upon a photo from the past and see what emotion (i.e energy) it brings up. Not to mention it’s literally taking up space. I have a couple old photo albums that I need to throw out—I don’t want those reminders and frankly I could use the space for books or photos of my life now.

No Room for Mr. Right.

Our physical world is made up of energy and should support our inner world with a sense of harmony, happiness and hopefulness.

Students ask me all the time about attracting their soul mate and I always ask if they have an ex-lover’s momentos hanging around like tee-shirts, baseball hats, love letters, mixed tapes or pressed flowers. The answer is always yes. I am not suggesting this is the only reason Mr. Right is not walking through your door but clearing these things out will surely make more room for him.

Please note: if these things make you feel good then you are probably okay hanging onto them, but if they bring up longing, loss, betrayal or loneliness, then throw that sh*t out! Consider that your new beau may not be cool with you wearing your exes football jersey to bed either.

After the Storm, Cleanse.

Another great reason to cleanse and clear is to release any old energy including the energy of conflict, tension or even change. You may be in a great relationship and think you don’t need to cleanse anything but clearing your space is a great way to ensure no old energy is hanging around.

My husband and I have a great relationship but we certainly have our moments of fiery arguments. We are both good at moving on but that energy stays in our space to some degree so I always cleanse the room after.

So let’s take advantage of some very unique energy coming in that will help us release things taking up space! Now is the perfect time to cleanse, declutter and complete rituals on all things taking up space in our love, sexual and creative spheres:

1. Throw It Out or Burn It.

I know it can feel like a slog to go through old stuff but it feels so good when you are done and tomorrow is a perfect day to clean out your closet, the make up drawer, old photographs and papers and even your bedding. Venus rules all things having to do with feeling attractive, sexy or sexual so create some space for your own beauty. I recently have a huge make up bag of new, unused “freebies” to my niece. She was thrilled and I had space for more good stuff.

Burning old pictures or papers can be extremely cathartic, just make sure you do it outside in a large pot or drum and have a water or fire extinguisher standing by. When you offer items to the fire say, “I let you go with love” and try to actually mean it. You want to release yourself from the old holds too so the screw-you-bastard followed by f-bombs may not be creating the clearing energy you seek.

2. Put It In Direct Sunlight.

Sometimes we have things that we don’t want to throw out but we wish to cleanse. In that case, place your object in direct sunlight. It can be in a window sill or outside on a table or even the Earth. I offer a little prayer of gratitude to the sun for its healing and life giving rays and ask that this object be cleared and made whole. Leave for a day or so and then feel the renewed energy.

3. Room, Bed and Object Clearing.

There is all kinds of mystical mojo on “clearing” but it can be quite simple and straight forward—I use incense or a candle and sometimes just my own hands. Though I am a Reiki Master, we all have huge amounts of positive energy and our minds are powerful so don’t feel like you can’t clear space yourself. You have the power!

Room Clearing

To clear a room start by standing inside the room facing the door.

I offer a blessing such as, “With love and light I clear this room of anything that does not serve the highest in me and all who enter. May any lessons, insights or old hurts be turned to wisdom so I may thrive. With love and light this room is filled.”

I move clock wise from the door along the walls either waving incense or simply holding my hands out as though I am sending love to the walls.

I then move to the centre of the room and wave incense or send love in all four directions.

When I feel complete I always offer a moment of gratitude and imagine any “old stuff” falling away and new light radiating everywhere.

Object Clearing

Bed: Wash the sheets or get new ones. Obvious, I know, but you would be surprised how many do not do this. When you are making the bed say, “I make this bed with love and appreciation that all who lie here lie in love. May I sleep well and receive all I need.”

Mirrors: A great item to clean this weekend! Clean the mirrors but as you do say, “May I see and reflect the highest within myself. May I attract the beautiful, loving and nurturing to me.”

Cars, boats and leisure vehicles: We rarely think of it but these are another great thing to cleanse. I start by sitting in the driver’s seat and either waving incense or my hands across the dash toward the passenger seat and into the back. You have to sort of contort yourself around but you can do it easily if you are willing to shift around a little. You can use the same process and words as the room clearing practice above.

Enjoy the clearing and share your experience and results in the comments below.


Author: Shasta Towsend

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: wildbindi/Flickr


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Isa Jul 31, 2015 9:54pm

I don’t know hot to let go of old photos and letters? Two ex boyfriends have passed away. It’s part of my history and yet I hear you on that it’s old and I’m into bringing in the new aspects of me and my life. I don’t know how to break my attachment to these things. It’s not like I look at them. But they are in storage in the basement…could you offer additional advice?

Amanda Jul 30, 2015 11:41am

I am in the midst of the biggest cleansing ever… I have been planning now for a few months to move in with my amazing new man in a different province… And very recently I have had a situation that is pretty much telling me to start over… I am about to lose almost all I own but I also know almost everything I do own, well it has extreme negative energy attached to it via a nineteen year abusive relationship… I know that I couldn’t have done it myself so I do give my gratitude to my invasive situation for the help ♡

Jul 29, 2015 12:14pm

I have the same issue of having old albums I need to get rid of. Is there something special you do with yours?

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Shasta Townsend

Best-selling author, award winning teacher and down-to-earth Canadian girl, Shasta Townsend helps women and men reconnect to their wholeness, release blocks to their happiness and reclaim magic so they can live a wonderful life, no matter what! Shasta is passionate about the how-to of creating good relationship—the relationship to our Self, to each other and to the Earth. She is a feisty champion of “unbroken wholeness”—that is the current of love, goodness and creativity that supports us always, and is adept at integrating various disciplines so we may tap into this current with power and ease. Shasta is your feisty champion as she helps to strip away the old stories and reveal your authentic radiance as you unabashedly create the next big, beautiful chapter of your life.

Shasta shares her passion for living well as a Featured Columnist at Elephant Journal, The Good Men Project, Rebelle Society and Vivid Life. Shasta leads retreats, workshops and talks around the world. She lives in Canada with her husband, cat and creative impulse. Her debut book, Happy, Sexy, Shameless – What Our Mother’s Didn’t Know About the Birds and the Bees is an international best seller and is available through amazon.com and all amazon platforms world-wide. Connect with Shasta on Facebook or on Twitter @shastaherself.