August 21, 2015

How Naked Sandwich Night can Change your Life.

naked desserts

You’re three coffees tall and one shower short, your leg hair’s getting dense, the dog just threw up on your favorite affirmation pillow and the smell of something peculiar is wafting through the kitchen.

Welcome to your life.

Right now you’re fantasizing about living solo in a beautiful beach house that has a spa room the size of Rhode Island and a wine refrigerator that self-stocks.

Screw the fantasy of the hot Cabana boy pleasuring you on a lounge chair. That would require you to do more than Febreze your bits and comb your eyebrows. Unless he’s willing to wash your pillow and take the dog to the vet, no thank you!

What happened to that gutsy girl who read Cosmopolitan Magazine articles on Seductive Power Moves and The Dos and Don’ts of Flirting While Driving? What happened to putting love notes in your man’s chicken sandwich to remind him what’s waiting for him at home? What happened to plucking those eyebrows, girl?!

Time moves on and with it comes changing values and changing priorities. You give up old things to fit in new things and pretty soon you’re buying practical panties in bulk and spending weekends shopping for appliances.

When are you going to shake it up?!

When the kids are out of the house—then you’ll have time. When the project at work is done, then you’ll get a breather. When you’re not so damn tired, then you’ll try. Blah, blah, blah, later, later, later.

Zip it and read this.

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”
~ Pablo Picasso

Whoa Pablo! Sh*t just got real. Your tomorrows are going to run out someday and how will it feel if you never started that business or wrote that novel? How will it feel if your relationship was just meh?

Is it okay to put yourself last? Oh, hell no! Hell No!

You need to start living differently now so when the do kids leave home and things slow down, you’re left with something better than a thankless job and a husband who pays more attention to his iPad than you.

When your dog hands you a self-help book and a shot of Tequila, that’s your sign!

I propose the following to put the fun back in your life and get you out of your rut!

1. Naked sandwich night.

You heard me. I don’t care what you look like. Guys like naked chicks regardless of your imperfections, and it’s time you start accepting yourself and what you’ve got. I promise you, if you at least shower and shave you’ll look 100% better.

Make sure the kids are out for the night and tell that man of yours it ain’t going to be the usual meatloaf Monday. He won’t be late for dinner or look at his iPad once if you pull this off correctly.

If he’s not turned on right away, he’ll at least be shocked and confused. That’s a start. This is when you introduce alcohol, unless he’s in a 12 step program. Turn the lights down, have a little wine and do a walk around to see where everything is now. It may have slipped somewhere else since you last looked.

Have some conversation topics handy in case the silence gets awkward, like conspiracy theories and baseball and let the games begin! Sandwiches are optional.

2. The “about me” list.

Pass out index cards to everyone in the family at the beginning of the week. On each card write a couple of things you want them to do for you during the next seven days. Don’t just put chores or errands—you also want gestures of love and support.

Maybe you ask your defiant “thinks she knows everything at this age” daughter to stop rolling her eyes for a week and make a list of the five things she doesn’t hate about you.

Maybe you ask your son for two little surprises and you don’t mean a pregnant girlfriend and drugs in his pocket.

Maybe you ask your husband to offer a sincere compliment every day and gift you with something other than his dirty laundry.

You may get some push back on this at first but that’s okay. You’re reminding your family that you matter. They should have consideration for you on a regular basis. This is you helping them. See how selfless you are?

Eventually, everyone can get in on the game but you first. What a great way to teach your family to value each other and be thoughtful every week.

3. Re-invent your appearance.

Please tell me you’re not wearing a scrunchie right now. If you are, girl, get it out of your hair this minute! Even if you can pull that look off, don’t. You’re going to re-invent yourself and cause a little commotion in the house when your family sees reliable, hardworking Ms. Do It All looking a little brand new.

You don’t have to bleach your hair platinum and put on a meat dress, just do something different. If it’s been 10 plus years since you changed your hairstyle—get a new cut, get some highlights or change the color, get contacts, shave the mustache or funk it up with a boho gypsy grunge look. Do something unexpected and have some fun!

Changing what you look like on the outside changes how you feel on the inside. When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you look good!

The inner work of self-love and self-compassion are the deeper steps to a happy life, but puttin’ your sassy pants on is a surefire way to put a smile on your face. Enjoy looking good. Stop hiding!

Step outside the box and try something new today. It doesn’t take any courage to live a mediocre life, but living a glorious, adventurous one takes some nerve and a little risk. Get creative, don’t take your life too seriously and make yourself a priority because sometimes doing what’s essential and right for you is more important than just trying to make everybody else happy.

I’m with Pablo. Don’t leave your life undone.


Relephant read:

4 Ways to get out of a Rut.


Author: Tancie Leroux

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr 

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