September 1, 2015

Falling Apart with Grace.


* Warning: naughty language ahead. 

In the past there has been nothing graceful about the way I responded to life’s major challenges—accidents, unemployment and relationship meltdowns.

Tantrums, tears and snot bubbles mixed with, “Why me?” and “F*ck you, God” were my typical responses.

No, I’m not proud. However, one way or another, I would piece my broken world back together.

That break-up.

Being unemployed even with a f*cking degree.

That accident.

Each experience broke me down. But somehow I survived. In doing so I learned some valuable life lessons and more than my fair share of home truths.

Experiencing growth and expansion in equal measure. Essentially, falling apart has always been the making of me.

It’s just unfortunate that I’d always fallen apart with no grace.

But in June this year I learned something about what it means and what it looks like to fall apart with grace.

That month I experienced the sudden passing of my Nan. Just 10 days later I received a call to say that my father, who I’d not seen in well over a decade, was fighting for his life in hospital. Having never experienced the death of a loved one the whole experience shook me to my core. Then to hear that another family member was fighting for their life I seriously thought that I was living some terrible nightmare.

But, in reflection I realize that I am coping with falling apart  far more gracefully than I ever could have imagined.

In fact, rather than falling apart I would say that what I’ve been doing is falling together with grace and, in the process, I am:

Reconnecting with myself.

Learning the lessons.

Being and feeling more thankful.

Identifying the things that I enjoy.

Doing the things that I enjoy.

Listening to my intuition, guardian angels and God.

Staying open to receive opportunities and meet new people.

Although it sounds too good to be true—it is possible to fall apart and back together with absolute grace.

Key steps to falling apart with grace.

Be true. 

Be true to yourself and your feelings. If you feel like crying then allow the tears to fall. If you feel angry allow those feelings to come to the surface (just don’t do anything illegal). If you don’t feel okay when someone asks then say “I don’t feel okay. I feel sad/angry/anxious.” More often than not, people will empathize and some may offer some great tips or advice. Part of being graceful when things are falling apart (and back together) is accepting that it’s okay not to be okay.

Be still.

Prayer and meditation can become your greatest asset. When your world comes tumbling down it can be so easy to keep busy rather than be still. But the stillness is where you can find peace and that sense of calm. In the calmness your mind, body and soul will relax and connect.

Be supported.

If you’re anything like me you think that you can get through it on your own. Essentially, you can’t do it on your own. This realization has been huge for me and allowed me to deepen some of my existing relationships, while developing new ones. Without my support network things would have been much harder. However, by being still I was able to allow myself to be supported by God and the energies around me. Rather than forcing, pushing and controlling I was able to step back. Safe in the knowledge that God has for my back and that he’ll show me the way. For me this was a radical shift in perception which made a massive difference.

Be nurtured. 

Look after yourself. As much as possible continue to do as many things as you can that light you up.

Give yourself love and a break from what’s going on. Take the time to step back and do something nice like having a salt bath, get creative, dance, sing, get out of the house or eat cookies.

Whatever makes you feel nurtured and loved—do it.

You don’t need permission to nurture and love yourself. Do it.

Whatever you are going through right now, know that you will get through it.

I recall a moment where I came close to a, “Why me?” and “F*ck you” swear-fest.

But that swear-fest was averted as the following quote came into mind:

“If God brings you to it. He will bring you through it. Have faith.” ~ author unknown


Author:  Chanel Williams

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: Pixoto/Shelby Cross

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