The Perfect Mom.
Yesterday a friend of mine posted an article from a mommy blogger who encountered “the perfect mom” at the park. This perfect mom drank kombucha, packed hummus and peppers for a snack and was a yoga instructor.
She was tall and thin, had perfect skin and her kids were dressed in pressed, white linen (by the way, nobody dresses their kids in pressed, white linen to go to the park—or even to church).
I laughed as I read the blog. I almost commented on the bottom—haha kombucha—but paused and thought: this mom sounds like me.
Then I began to write a counter commentary on the perfect mom. Let me tell you a little about her…
This perfect mom does not seek perfection, but rather longevity.
It may look easy, but it actually takes more time to cook a healthy meal at night than to drive through Chick-fil-A—which she has done many times.
It takes more time to exercise and sometimes the nights are short and the six a.m. yoga session comes too soon.
It takes time to invest in herself, but at the end of the day, if she isn’t okay, the house might come a crumblin’.
She does all this for longevity—to be able to see her children grow and if she is lucky, happy and in love.
This perfect mom teaches yoga. It is her sanity. She chooses this activity to calm her temper and tame her sharp tongue. She goes to her mat instead of having a tantrum beside her toddler.
She is fit because she loves to run and play with her children and can’t imagine sitting down and missing out on their first tree climb, their first jump off the swing or their first attempt at the monkey bars.
This perfect mom has made lifestyle changes because her health matters. Her genes are not that great, she has already lost a parent and her close friends have been diagnosed with cancer. If it means giving up a teaspoon of sugar in her morning coffee—she’ll do it for her health.
Her mental health matters, too, so she has learned to ask for help. Her health also depends on taking a break, so she may be found with her nose in a book, which doesn’t mean she’s antisocial, but is rather escaping the kiddie jungle—even for two short minutes.
This perfect mom believes we all deserve to be happy—medicated or not—and we would all be a lot happier if we stopped comparing ourselves.
This perfect mom might not sound like a lot of fun. She rarely eats cake, limits herself to one glass of wine (or on a real wild night, two), chooses vegetables over meat and talks to her children about moderation, not perfection. She’s usually home on Friday nights building Legos and hates sports. There. She said it. She hates sports and she has two sons.
This perfect mom is human. She has fears and desires. She traded in her dreams for a minivan with automatic sliding doors. She has fantasies (not like the stuff in Disney World) and on a long, arduous day, dreams of traveling far, far away, but ends up building a fort in the living room instead.
This perfect mom does not judge. She saw another mom at the park and felt she was just like her. She thought her kids were adorable. She noticed the other mom looked comfortable in her sweats and thought she’d go home and put on her sweats, too. She wanted to strike up a conversation but the other mom took a phone call. She thought of having her over for a playdate but then shied away because she is new to this neighborhood and feels awkward here. All. The. Time.
We will never be good enough. We will never make the perfect gluten-free cookie. We will never drive the most pimped out suburban (somebody in Miami already won that contest). But in mommy blogging words, we should stop judging people by their bodies or by any exterior factors.
This perfect mom couldn’t agree more.
Author: Ashley Martinez
Editor: Rachel Nussbaum
Photo: Author’s Own