To the one after,
You are the one after a great love, a great heartbreak.
Maybe this was supposed to just be a rebound, maybe we always knew it’d be more. Either way, you’re in a difficult position. You’re weighed down by a shadow, the remnants of the one before. The one who I did this with before, felt this before. And it’s hard to breathe with this beside you, the perpetual reminder that someone was here first.
I wish I could relieve you of this. To tell you that it is not still here. But it is. This something, this someone is forever a part, not a piece of me. It is not a piece that can be detached, removed, extracted (how I wish that was the case sometimes). Rather, each of our lovers, some more profoundly than others, melt into our bloodstream, forever becoming a part of us.
And understandably, you wonder if there is room for you here. They, my before, my yesterday, took up so much time, space, energy. And they still live here in my veins. At times it is them I feel when I bleed.
But it is not a question of space. We, all of us, are just drops of water in an infinite ocean. We will mix and meld and merge together. And the waves carry us all forward.
Each day that you circulate through me (and I, through you) we become less them and more me and you.
We become less yesterday and more today.
We become us,
Author: Jenny Spitzer
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock
Photo: flickr/Nikos Koutoulas