In the spirit of the holiday season, we may find ourselves completely disconnected from our partners.

There is no time to put up decorations let alone find time for intimacy. Our to-do lists are longer, our daylight hours are shorter and our hair is most likely getting more grey.

So, to help lower stress levels, try memorizing these magical phrases to get a little closer to your partner.

Honey, let me take care of that.

This phrase is golden. There is nothing more important than lending a helping hand and studies show that partners who offer to help around the house get laid more often. Hanging a drape? Check. Putting that star on top of the Christmas tree? Check. Meeting in the bedroom to shag? Check! Simple acts of service can have great rewards.

How can I help?

This is my all-time favorite phrase in the world. This, for me, says, “I love you.” This, for me, says, “I see you frazzled and I think you need help. How can I help you? “These words come from a place of selflessness. These words come from a place where we are seeing our partner struggle and that’s not a pretty sight. Try asking your partner this simple question and watch the barriers between the two of you dissolve.

I’ll put the kids to bed.

Bingo! Say this and you’ll find me in bed wearing my birthday suit.

This year, let’s go see your family.

I mean, if you really want to spend your entire holiday with my family, this is a recipe for getting lucky multiple times a day. What we’re really saying here is, “what is important to you, is important to me.” Many families split the holidays between two and even four sets of parents. Trying to please everyone creates a great amount of stress and tension. Maybe this year, things will be different. Maybe this year, the holidays will be shared at one home only (yours!) and everyone is welcome to come on over.

All I want for Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or…) is you.

If you say this, you have to mean it. Do not expect a gift! But maybe just by saying this you’ll remember the real significance of the holiday season: togetherness. There is no greater gift than the gift of time, but sometimes, we have to ask for it. Ask your partner for time and offer yourself without asking for anything in return.

The holiday season is all about giving. Not just gifts, but acts and gestures of kindness.

Happy Holidays!

~

Relephant:

The Ultimate 30 Day Sex Challenge: Are you “Up” for It? {Adult}

Author: Ashley Martinez

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr/Lamerie